They've got the stars for the gallant hearts

[confidentially]

Who| Jessica & Marius
What| Marius meets his crazy new mentor.
Where| Training facility
When| Some time during Week 6.
Warnings/Notes| Jessica is her own warning label.

She'd let Marius have his week to recover before sending him a note via Avox that read, in ornate and girlish handwriting that his presence was required in the training facility at 8am sharp. No wives allowed. No boyfriends either. It was signed with a simple J, with a postscript which warned him not to be late.

Jessica was allowed to be late, however. It was one of the luxuries of victory. She sashayed into the facility at 8:15, looking fit and stern and ready to get down to business. Unfortunately, she was less impressed by Marius in person than she had been while watching him on TV.

"Oh. You're short." Her disappointment was palpable.

Comments

[saisamour]

Perhaps the most regrettable part about all this was that Marius had genuinely begun to realize that he had quite a talent for not missing targets, moving or otherwise. Now, at her words, the blush deepened as all traces of confidence gradually seeped out of him.

"Oh." He knew not what else to say to her remark; he stood there, dumbly, for a few seconds. He never thought he was particularly talented in anything at all, but clearly there must be something else he needed to add to this conversation, if only for him to meet her expectations.

"I do not understand." Nailed it.

[confidentially]

Could it be the language barrier that was confusing him? Jessica frowned, deciding that maybe if she spoke more slowly, he would understand what she was trying to communicate.

"Oh-kaaaaaay," she began, gesturing with her hands for emphasis. "I want to knooooow if you have any other skiiiiiills." She paused, struggling to recall something she'd overheard one time. "Um, comprenez-vous?"

[saisamour]

That... That will get her an odd, mildly irate stare in response. He had to pause for a moment, collect his thoughts and chase away the perplexity and annoyance in his expression, before he responded with, "I understand you completely, mademoiselle."

He gave out a small sigh then, glancing to one side and resisting the urge to fidget. "I know how to handle the sabre, and most firearms, although it would seem that they do not appear often, and if they do they differ from what I am familiar with."

He deliberately left the query about personality unanswered.

[confidentially]

"That's a start!" Her voice was chipper, as though she had missed the annoyance in his face. In reality, she chose to ignore it. "What about like, karate or something? Did you guys ever learn kung-fu?"

[saisamour]

He wished he knew what kung-fu or karate was, truly. As he did not, all he could do was stare at her, more than a little bewildered. He stuttered a little due to his embarrassment before he managed to ask, "What is kung-fu?"

The French accent might have butchered that a bit.

[confidentially]

Oh, but he was so cute, trying to pronounce things! If he weren't so pathetic, Jessica might actually want to pinch his cheeks.

"It's a martial art. Like, um, boxing. Except it's more ancient or something. I don't know exactly, but it would behoove you to look it up sometime."

[saisamour]

Omg rude!!

"That I will." There was a brief pause; he would read up on it, certainly, but he found it difficult to believe that he was going to be particularly good at it from how troublesome it was to pronounce alone. "Thank you."

He swayed on his feet and stared at the ground, silent once more for several seconds before asking, "Are we to begin our training?"

[confidentially]

"Yes we are. Let's warm up by running." She motioned a circle with her fingers. "You should run around the room. I will observe and critique." Then she smiled, the picture of innocence.

[saisamour]

All right. That did not seem a particularly unreasonable request. Perhaps it was to test his speed. He gave her a short, polite bow, then did as he was told.

His running was nothing noteworthy. He was fast, but not too fast, and nowhere near what could be considered slow. Perhaps the most glaring trait he had was that he slouched, but then again he did often slouch.

He also would not stop until she ordered him to, so there was that.

[confidentially]

She watched him run around and around for several pregnant, agonizing minutes as she struggled to find something positive to latch onto. He wasn't terrible, but he wasn't that great either. It was almost admirable how mediocre Marius was at everything. Or rather, it would be admirable if mediocrity was at all what she'd hoped him to be.

"Your posture is awful. Aren't you old people supposed to know how to stand up straight?" Her voice was like a dog's bark, sharp and yappy. "Stop. Just stop. I can't with this right now."

[saisamour]

As commanded, Marius slowed into a halt, taking in deep breaths as he gave her look that was half-quizzical, half-chastised. He thought he had done all he could, to be quite honest, although it was not difficult to tell that she found it a disappointment.

After his breathing had evened, he wiped his arm across his brow and approached her. He blinked, once, waiting for further instructions in a manner reminiscent an eager dog.

[confidentially]

Crossing her arms, she circled around him slowly, like a scavenging bird over a rotting piece of meat. "Well that was a bust. But maybe there's a way to salvage this. Have you ever been to the orthodontist?"

[saisamour]

"I..."

Marius gulped and fidgeted under her gaze, but he was still far too polite to comment on how uneasy it made him. So instead, he focused on another dilemma, which was the definition of 'orthodontist.' Breaking it into base words gave him 'straight' and 'tooth,' but that only served to confuse him all the more.

His forehead creased. "I beg your pardon?"

[confidentially]

"For your teeth." It was blunt, but necessary. All those Frenchies could use some help in the dental department, as far as she was concerned. "They've made some major advancements in the field of dentistry. They can fix all that stuff you have going on in there."