(no subject)

[paidinbeer]

Who: Orc and you
What: Drinking to forget and failing
Where: The Bar in the Training Center (With special bonus thread set in his room later)
When: During the finale of the Arena
Warnings: Well he's a suicidal, depressed, short tempered drunk 15 year old boy trapped in a rock monster's body. I'm sure something will come up.

The bartenders and serving staff had gotten used to Orc over time. They knew if they kept the booze flowing and put him in a dark corner somewhere he would keep quiet...mostly. And the other customers wouldn't be as bothered by any rude sounds he made or if he was disgustingly slopping drink on himself or mashing food into his maw like a pig.

Orc had gotten used to the bartenders and serving staff. He knew that if he kept quiet and didn't shout they would keep bringing him drinks and not tell his handlers to get him out of the bar.

It was a semi-functional relationship that allowed Orc to try and numb every last feeling he had with alcohol and food.

That part was not as functional.

Part of the problem was there was a TV facing him. Normally the staff was smart enough to change the channel but today they had forgotten and he was watching the coverage of the games, complete with some of their top 10 kills so far.

His death at the point of Ellie's spear was number five.

Then there was the hot topic of who was dating who, some woman in a suit that looked like it was made from those fancy Christmas flowers...whatever they were called, was commenting on the possibility of Orc and...Eponine?!

"What the hell does Porcupine mean?" He muttered as the word was pasted under a picture of the two of them drinking together in the arena.

Comments

[wantwhatiwant]

"Yeah it's called talking bullshit." Ian got another drink as well leaning back. "Talk out of your ass but sound like you are completely right and you'd be surprised how many idiots will believe you."

[paidinbeer]

"Howard's good at that." Orc conceded. So good that even when Orc knew he was full of shit he still believed him.

Though that might speak more to Orc's wanting to believe then anything.

[wantwhatiwant]

"Never met Howard." Ian told him, "But I hear about him a lot."

[paidinbeer]

"He's really popular." Orc acknowledged and then laughed, which sounded more like a grunt.

"It's weird. Back home people couldn't stand him. But around here it's like...he's dating. And people look out for him...they do alot better at it then I ever did." And the shame of those words was not lost on him. He seemed to sink a little lower in his seat.

[wantwhatiwant]

"People here are weird." He shrugged, he had found a similar thing. Back home people didn't like him much, but here, people called him friend and tried to protect him. Outside of his family and Mandy, no one had ever done that.

Alright and Micky, but Ian wasn't thinking about Micky.

"You get him killed?"

[paidinbeer]

"More or less." He would take credit for it even if he shouldn't.

"I was supposed to protect him, but this crazy guy got to him and kidnapped him." He explained "Aunamee. He's dangerous and smart." Orc only had one of the two.

[wantwhatiwant]

He winced at that, "Someone to look out for then." He'd remember the name. "Shit sucks man." He ordered some more drinks and passed one to Orc.

[paidinbeer]

"Not as bad as home." He reminded himself out loud "Back home there was no food, no power, just weapons and sadness and madness and death."

At least here there was food.

"But some people don't deserve even the bad parts of this world. Some people should just be dead forever."

[wantwhatiwant]

"Shit." Ian had had his share of no food and no power, and sadness and madness and even death, but not all of them all at once.

"Yeah, some people should be. There usually the least likely to be taken though."

[paidinbeer]

"It's not fair." Orc grumbled and gripped his drink too hard. The cup shattered and the bartender sent over an avox to clean it up. They were all relatively dull about it so it must happen alot.

"It's not how things should be." Things hadn't been right for a long, long time. Maybe they never would be right again.

[wantwhatiwant]

"No, but that's life." He shrugged, "Some people get all the money, all the happiness, the sane families and the good life and they are usually shit heads." He shrugged, "Life wasn't meant to be fair."

[paidinbeer]

"So what's the point of it all?" Orc burst throwing an empty mug with frustration. It bounced off the floor and shattered into pieces to skitter away.

"If it's all crap then why should guys like us even bother?" If there was no hope, no purpose why would god have set them there? Was it a test? Some sort of judgment?

[wantwhatiwant]

"I don't know the answer to that." He shrugged, "I don't think it has an answer."

[paidinbeer]

Finding that answer both unsatisfying and depressing, Orc slumped forward and put his head down on the table groaning like he was sick.

"Please god...have mercy." He muttered hopelessly.

[wantwhatiwant]

"Hey." Ian seemed to realise that he hadn't been helpful. "Dude, I think you're meant to make your own point. Like... most the time I only put up with shit because I need to help my family, or some people have like hobbies and stuff. You can't look for deeper meaning, you have to make it."

[paidinbeer]

Well...that sounded a little better. But...

"I'm not that smart. So I'm just supposed to like...throw meaning at it and hope it fits?" Most of the meaning he took out of life was related to religion, but his religion had never accounted for something like this.

[wantwhatiwant]

"Pretty much how the world goes, yeah." He shrugged, Ian might be nominally Catholic, and they might say grace once a year at Thanksgiving but he had not been brought up religious, and never bothered to learn about it.

[paidinbeer]

Another disgruntled grunt and he put his head back down on the table.

"I'm not smart enough for crap like that." He moaned sounding like he had an upset stomach just thinking about it.

[wantwhatiwant]

"Neither am I." Ian told him, "But it's not really brains, it's just... what you feal and shit."

[paidinbeer]

Orc snorted and remained face down.

"Yeah because feelings are MUCH easier then brains."

The only feelings he was on good terms with were anger and depression. Even fear had pretty much given up on him.

[wantwhatiwant]

"Yeah." He shrugged, "I'm not good at them either."

[paidinbeer]

"I wanna go back to when I didn't have to think or feel. I could just go to school, be bored. Pick on some nerds, go see a movie or something, watch football with my dad and go to bed." Orc complained loudly and sat up shouting at the sky. "IS THAT SO MUCH TO FREAKING ASK!?"

[wantwhatiwant]

"Yeah." He shrugged, "Usually." Ian had always had to think, he wasn't Fiona but he still had to help keep his family afloat. Dodge Frank. Dodge the police and family services. It might have been easier if he couldn't feel, but feeling it seemed was something he was good at.

[paidinbeer]

His emotions spend Orc drifted into Silence. Someday he might actually remember to thank Ian for his company on these depressing little binges into drunken misery. But the moment he was too wrapped up in self pity to realize that in a way he had made a friend through the common bonds of beer and feeling sorry for themselves.

[wantwhatiwant]

Ian just ordered some more beer and sat in silence, waiting to see if Orc would say anything else.