His voice is heavy. "He's here. And he hates me. After I died, he suffered hundreds of sweeps of slavery as a Helmsman to the Condesce, and I think it broke his pan. And he blames me."

The words come fast, because even though he can talk about this with Karkat, Karkat platonically hates the Psiioniic too much to really understand. The Disciple will. She knew him before he broke.

"He hates me, Meulin, and he broke my diamond and left me for someone else who hates me just as much as he does, and it's to the point that I hate him because I still pity him so deeply and I don't want to anymore. It's exhausting caring for someone who doesn't want you, wanting to help them and knowing the only way to make them truly happy is to just stay away from them entirely."