[closed]

[sleeplessinalternia]

Who| Karkat and Cuthbert
What| Shopping, hanging out, and discussing arena plans.
Where| Around the Capitol
When| Not long after Signless gave his troll information talk
Warnings/Notes| Karkat is in this log, so there will be lots of swearing. (Also please picture Karkat's outfit being sans moon design and crown and also parts of it are ruby red.)

Unfortunately, the District One stylist caught wind of Karkat's little outing with Cuthbert and had managed to corner him before he left. Karkat's escort human had been of no help, either. Evidently Karkat had looked adorable in the oh so fashionable princely suit they'd crammed him into. To which Karkat had retorted that he prefered adorabloodthirsty and stomped his way to the elevator.

(Fuck, if Terezi were here she'd be licking all over him--and he needed to stop that train of thought right fucking now.)

It doesn't take very long for the elevator to reach the lobby. Hopefully Cuthbert is already waiting for him so they can just get this over with.

Comments

[tis_allgood]

Bert wasn't lucky enough to get away unscathed either. But since his stylist found out he would be heading out with a troll she wanted to make a good impression by sticking him in something like this (slightly nsfw) in a nice chocolatey brown to "compliment his eyes".

Still, he feels fairly lucky when he sees Karkat. Maybe they're evenly matched, but Bert still has plenty of fodder to embarrass Karkat with.

"I am ready when you are... although with the way the both of us look I would not blame you to think twice on it."

[sleeplessinalternia]

Karkat stares at the horns and then down at himself and then back up at Cuthbert. "Oh fuck," he says and he starts to turn around and go right back up that fucking elevator--

Except he really does need to get the markers and pick up Signless' tribute token. And if he goes back they'll probably just try to stick him into something even more ridiculously ostentatious.

So Karkat turns back and sighs a loud, long-suffering sigh. "Fine. Let's get this over with. But just so you know, horns do not come in that color."

[tis_allgood]

Bert puts his hands on his hips at that and gives his most indigent tone.

"Do you think this my choice? Yes, certainly, I could not be happier to look a fool while you and I seek out your colorful inks and markings. At least your horns serve you some purpose. These are only going to get in my way."

He does reach up to give the silly things a stroke from base to tip, but mostly just to see if Karkat will yell at him for doing it. Might as well get some use out of the ridiculous things.

"Lead the way, fearless leader. I know not what commerce hive you seek."

[sleeplessinalternia]

Karkat gives Cuthbert a dirty look. "Don't do that. It makes you look like a horn fetishist."

Once they're out the door he adds, "Anyway, the commerce hive is more like a retail hivecluster. They call it 'The Districts.' I went there with Signless like a day or two after we got here to get us portable fabric sopor-less recoupercoons with my cullmoney." Something occurs to him. "Hey, did they give you any asses for the mutual destruction of you and that other human from your trap?"

(He's been told that the plural form of the Capitol's money is actually 'assi' but fuck that.)

[tis_allgood]

"Everything is a fetish to thee. Did you not get buckets while you were out with him?"

It takes him longer to untangle the second part of that. Which he answers by nodding, because he really shouldn't be so proud of that, but he is. He isn't so sure about letting Karkat know he's proud of that.

[sleeplessinalternia]

Cuthbert, Karkat wouldn't care if you're proud of it. It's only natural to be proud of your culls. He's the freak because he feels like a jerk about his after talking to Chibi and Gavroche.

Also he's glaring at you now.

"Ugh, no. First of all, we're not in that quadrant--second of all, if I even had someone to pail I'd ask an avox to buy it because I don't need footage of me buying sex equipment to end up on the fucking morning information broadcasts--and thirdly," he lowers his voice to barely abover a whisper, "thirdly, Signless doesn't even use a pail because he's a weird sexual deviant."

[tis_allgood]

Jerk probably wouldn't be the word Cuthbert would use, but it would be an interesting discussion if they could sit down long enough to have a mature conversation about it.

"Don't use those poor people that way, if you've someone you're wet enough for that you'd need a pail to hold it all then you ought to be insect enough to buy one yourself and admit that's how you feel." So far Cuthbert has been avoiding the avoxes because he feels so bad for them. They should simply have been put out of their misery rather than forced to serve for the rest of their lives.

"And by your logic likely everyone here is a sexual deviant. I've gone all my 16 years without ever finishing myself in a bucket. Is it so difficult to understand that here you are the odd one?"

Says the boy with massive horns on his head that are supposed to mimic troll horns.

[sleeplessinalternia]

Karkat glares at him. "Just because what's natural for trolls is weird for humans doesn't mean I should stop trying to be a proper troll! It's even more important now, especially since--"

And then he shuts his mouth abruptly, because the destruction of his planet and species is something he really doesn't want to talk about. Especially because it's so much of it his fault.

[tis_allgood]

He knows that tone, that's the "Cuthbert, you are an asshole" tone. It's one he's all too familiar with. Bert sighs, he's screwed this up, he knows it, but he doesn't want to admit to it.

"Cry pardon, I should not mock your traditions. If it helps thee any, my ways are just as odd here, in many ways."

And he shouldn't be taking out his frustration at being a odd human in a civilization of what he thinks are odd humans out on someone who might actually understand.

[sleeplessinalternia]

At least Cuthbert's able to apologize to people, sort of, which is better than Karkat. "Yeah," Karkat says, shooting him an annoyed glance, "you shouldn't."

Then he sighs. "And yeah, I know. I mean, I've noticed. You're not even much like most of the other tribute humans. You're..." He shrugs. He almost wants to say 'better' or 'more normal' because Cuthbert at least doesn't kick up a giant fuss about the whole concept of the games existing.

He finally settles on, "You culled before the arenas, didn't you?"

[tis_allgood]

"Aye, I have. More than once, and if Ka sees fit to send me back where I came from, I will again."

There's so much petulance in his words, he really doesn't like talking about his job here. It used to bring him a lot of pride, but too many here consider killing for any reason to be an offense. As far as Cuthbert is concerned, the games are made for him. Which makes him somewhat defensive.

"This world is shiny and new with buildings made of more glass than I would ever see in a lifetime in Gilead. But they know the importance of life and death, just as my people do. They simply have an overflow of lives and money that makes it easy to spend people in excess."

[sleeplessinalternia]

Karkat shrugs. "Where I come from, kids cull each other all the time. We're allowed to. We're practically supposed to. It makes sure that whoever's still around when it comes time for Conscription is the toughest of the tough. At least half my friends had culled someone at some point before--" He shakes his head, not really wanting to talk about Sgrub with someone who wouldn't understand. "Those kids I got in the arena weren't my first culls."

He looks at Cuthbert. "You're as irritating as shit most of the time," he says. "But fuck, most of my other friends were too. And being good at killing people is a fucking valuable skill, okay? Maybe some of the other humans don't think so, but they're from fluffy juvenile hopbeast worlds and don't fucking count."

[tis_allgood]

That last part is a bit odd, but he can get most of the drift. And it cheers him up almost immediately.

"My father would be shocked, aye, nearly enough to drop dead on the spot to hear that I had made such a good choice of tet here. We will have a much better chance in the arena together than alone. Between the two of us, we may just get Sai Signless to the end so he never has to worry about taking another life."

Even when he gets his new horns hooked by accident on a low hanging branch he's still smiling and much more himself. The joys of acceptance.

[sleeplessinalternia]

Karkat rolls his eyes as he watches Cuthbert unhook himself. That was one good thing about having such embarrassingly nubby horns, he thinks, not having to deal with bullshit like that.

"Yeah," he says. "That's what I was hoping--that we'd still be in cahoots next arena. You and me--we're okay for this kind of game. But Signless... Signless is kind of fucked unless we help him. And if we can get him to win then he won't have to deal with this shit again, he can just mentor or whatever."

[tis_allgood]

Cuthbert laughs at the word 'cahoots' not because it's inaccurate, but because it's a funny word and he hadn't really thought of their working together like that.

"Aye, we shall be tight in cahoots. I will gladly face another arena or more on my own, if it means I can help out a friend. You are right, thee and I are well suited to this game, unlike many."

Once he gets himself unstuck from the tree he throws a friendly arm across Karkat's shoulder.

"Please tell me we're headed the right direction. I would hate to have to turn back and fight with that tree again."