[OPEN]

[drpsychosomatic]

Who| John Watson and OPEN
What| John's been having a lot of trouble sleeping and settling since waking up in the Capitol, and so is doing a lot of wandering for wandering's sake, catching up with friends (or at least people who haven't murdered him) and going on adorable coffee-dates with Effie Basically this is here to catch all
Where| Wandering around the capitol
When| Any time after his death, just let me know when you want to set things in the title of your reply pls
Warnings/Notes| Possible mentions of PTSD?

Death, John decided, was something no-one should have to live through. Where being shot and being absolutely certain he was going to die had been terrible, and had taken months of physical and psychological rehabilitation, dying and being brought back in a perfectly functional body was much more of a disorientating disconnect. He felt detached from reality.

Before Sherlock had rejoined him in the Capitol, John had spent much of his time trying to prove to himself that he was actually here, not always consciously. He walked as far as he could along the streets, visited strange little cafes and bars and hauled himself back to his suite, exhausted and burned out, hoping he'd be too tired to dream. His mood lifted a little once his friend returned, and there were a few notable people whose company he not only enjoyed but looked forward to enjoying, but the itch to get out for the sake of getting out only intensified the longer the days dragged on. There was nothing comfortable about life here, no routine he could settle into and feel like he had a handle on. The long and short of it was, he was useless here in the Capitol, and it was eating away at him.

Comments

[mannersmatter]

Effie was always pleased to see John.

Life had been insanely hectic without Haymitch here. Peeta and Katniss were doing what they could, thankfully, but Effie didn't really have the first idea in how to help them with mentoring.

Than again, she wasn't sure Haymitch would if he was here.

But John was a little bit of calm in the storm, and she felt great relief any time she got to catch a few minute visiting with the tribute. Ever since meeting him at the last crowning ceremony, she'd found herself seeking out those times more and more often.

"Good afternoon!" She said with a bright smile as she sank into the chair across from him. Cinna has recommended the place, a little cafe, and she was looking forward to it.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

It's starting to become a bit of a running joke, he thinks, that he tends to notice John and then follow at a distance. Howard has a reason this time; he's running a little on empty and doesn't have the energy to try and doggy-paddle against Sherlock's surf. Once he's sure John's alone, he trails him into a lonely cafe and orders something, trying to look as if it's just complete coincidence that they're in the same desolate business on the same quiet street.

"Oh. Hey." John's not looking good; Howard recognizes that expression from the mirror after the Arena before this one. After someone tortured and killed him. The shadows of it still follow Howard around, wrap around him like thin gauze through which he can be seen but can't reach. The exhaustion, the paranoia, the listlessness. "You want coffee?"

If John says yes, Howard will try to convince him to pay for Howard's drink too. Like last time.

[drpsychosomatic]

John smiled, honestly relaxing for what felt like the first time in ages. Effie was certainly of the Capitol, but he sensed nothing but warmth and care from her, and suspected she genuinely wanted to do good- and that, in his books, went a long way, despite his feelings about the Games.

"It is, actually, isn't it?" he agreed easily. The sun was shining, the skies were clear, and he was in a beautifully decorated if slightly over-saturatedly pink cafe. He wondered if maybe he should have brought her something. "It's good to see you, and this place is-- well, it's lovely."

[mannersmatter]

"Cinna suggested it."

With Effie's habits of name dropping so easily, John had heard all about everyone from 12, whether he knew who they were or not.

"So far his tastes have been consistently impeccable." She smiled brightly, settling into chair across from him. "So how are you?"

[drpsychosomatic]

"Better," he said, his smile wavering slightly. It was hard to be honest about how much he was struggling even with himself, and it seemed like it wouldn't be the easiest thing to discuss with Effie, anyway. He straightened up a bit. "I'm definitely being spoiled, here- and with you and Cinna recommending places like this, exploring the Capitol's much more enjoyable. I think you said they do tea?"

[drpsychosomatic]

John was far too distracted to notice he was being followed, this time- and jumped slightly at the voice, turning a little too quickly.

"I was-" he paused, collected himself, and smiled, carefully. "I was going to have tea, actually. What's yours?"

[mannersmatter]

"Yes! I was asking around for what place might have English like food. You would think there'd be a place for English food, but this was what I found."

She shrugged. You couldn't win them all. Maybe she would try to find some recipes, send them down to the kitchen.

She hesitated, biting her lip at the expression. It wasn't that she didn't recognize it. It was that she knew most people didn't want pushed into that conversation. "You know, there are some great place to go to relax, too."

Possibly a round about way to discuss issues there, Eff.

[drpsychosomatic]

He warmed up immediately at her mention of her having looked for English food. Of course she had. He had a feeling she would do just about anything in her power to make him feel more at home, more comfortable- and strangely enough, even being able to feel that intention radiating off her soothed his spirits.

"Somewhere to relax might not be a bad plan," he admitted, "But I'm not very good at relaxing. I get anxious. This- this is just fine. English food isn't exactly known for being brilliant, anyway, beyond the tea. I'm not surprised it hasn't survived."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Oh, sorry." Howard pulls an apologetic face - he really is. He gets jumpy too, and he always hates it when he visibly startles in front of people, because then they think he's crazy, or weak, or a coward. "I should've walked in front first."

The barista puts his coffee on the counter and he takes it, cradling it in his hands. "Cafe Americano. That means it's American-style, right? I don't know what the difference is."

[drpsychosomatic]

"Couldn't tell you," he admitted with a wry smile, letting the apology slide, as much as he actually appreciated it. There wasn't much point talking in circles. "Probably, though. I was told this place was good for Assam- ah, here, so I'm trying it out. How did your... I didn't see you, after the last time we met in the Arena."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"My booboos?" he says with a cocked eyebrow. He sips his coffee. "They weren't what did me in. The hand got worse, as the weeks went by, but whatever. It's kind of nice to be able to drink again without drooling all over myself."

He takes a seat, tiny in the chair, looking smaller slouched onto his shoulders. The nubs of his vertebrae show through the back of his shirt.

[drpsychosomatic]

John wet his lips and sat down opposite, holding his tea with both hands.
"Yeah. You look- Howard, you can tell me to drop it, but there are certain kinds of food that are more helpful than others, and I'd be happy to draw up a plan for you, if you wanted it."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Is that code for 'stop drinking so damn much coffee'?" He giggles a bit, but it's forced. It trails off into him running his tongue over his lower lip nervously. "You deal with- you deal with this every day, don't you?"

[drpsychosomatic]

He smiled, ruefully. "Starvation, not so much. Unless that wasn't what you meant. But- a little less coffee might not be a bad plan."

[mannersmatter]

"I personally enjoy the hot springs, myself. There is a wonderful spa there..." She paused, figuring he wasn't exactly a spa type of person. "They have a lot of more...masculine type services too. And who doesn't love a massage?"

"In a way we have a lot of cultural diversity...but it is sad that so much of it has been... diluted to such a level that it is no longer what it was. Although of course the district are creating their own cultures now, most of it just isn't...importable."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Oh. That." He was talking about the nervousness - he remembers the knowing way John looked at him before the last Arena, how Howard had assumed John was looking at it from a doctor's perspective, how his mind is changing on it to realize John may have more intimate experience with it, now that he's seen John after an Arena.

"I like the taste of the coffee. But yeah, um, advice for that would be good? I'm just trying to put the weight back on so I don't look like a strong breeze would break my little toothpick body." He folds his arms and leans back in his chair. "I'm kind of just eating everything people put in front of me but I guess it doesn't do much good when it makes me sick."

[drpsychosomatic]

"I wouldn't mind a spa," he chuckled. "I'd probably manage a day before going mad."

He wet his lips, clearly thinking something over, and then spoke: "I can cook. I'm not brilliant, but if perhaps one day you were feeling brave- I could introduce you to some extremely mediocre food? A lot of English food is diluted from the cultural influences we picked up when we had an empire, come to think about it."

[drpsychosomatic]

"You wouldn't have to cut coffee out completely. Just make sure you're eating nutritious calories rather than empty ones, and then you don't have to worry so much about getting full without getting what you need. More protein and unsaturated fats- I can write you a list, if you like." He paused, and sipped his tea thoughtfully.

"But that's not what you meant, is it?"

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Howard nods, watching John's mouth form words that should mean something to him, proteins and the like. Then he shakes his head.

"No, I mean, you kind of look like I did after the last Arena. That's all I'm saying. And last time you didn't treat me like I just needed to learn to trust people and that there's nothing to be afraid of here, so I figured you had experience."

[drpsychosomatic]

He nodded. "Yeah. No, it's- it's fine. I've been there." He cut himself off, wetting his lips and looking down into his tea, deciding against taking a sip.

"I don't know if you ever want to talk about it. I didn't."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"No. I don't either." That seems to be the other thing people keep impressing on Howard, that he should open up and talk about how he feels. He doesn't want to talk about how he feels. He doesn't want to talk about how he feels stupid and scared and then stupid for feeling scared. He just doesn't want to feel those things at all.

"It's just, you know. Nice to not have someone jumping down my throat about it." He takes a drink of the coffee. "So. You guys ever figure the little pillars out?"

[mannersmatter]

"Well most of it is just hot springs pool. Which could be enjoyable?"

She certain enjoyed them often enough. And she needed the break. And the company would be good too.

Her face lit up again. "Well, as it may be, I happen to have a Kitchen. Although I need to get away long enough to make sure my house is acceptable for guests."

Right now, she really wouldn't know if her house had burnt down, as little as she had been there.

[drpsychosomatic]

"I think Sherlock did, but he didn't seem to think it was all that important," John said, sipping at his tea thoughtfully, perfectly content to let their understanding go unspoken. "He's a bit preoccupied, lately."

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

"Why do you hang out with that guy? He's kind of a tool."

Howard's tone sounds very close to possessive.

[drpsychosomatic]

He smiled, imagining then in the kitchen together, maybe even with Effie helping him cook- and it was a nice thought, a pleasant idea. In his little daydream, she laughed and wiped flour off his nose and kissed him and made him promise not to tell a soul.

"Really? I was going to ask, actually, if you had a place in the Capitol. They keep you busy enough that I wondered if you even had somewhere else. But hot springs- that actually sounds really good."