I can't cope, with a petty modern life. [closed]

[shenunigans]

Who| Little Dee and Big Bee Strider.
What| In a fit of teen rebellion, Dave steals Tony's keys and goes on a peaceful joyride at night.
Where| Through the Capitol roads.
When| Towards the end of the school week.
Warnings/Notes| Bad life choices.

It isn't really a surprise to see Tony isn't doing so good. Dave has encountered him a few times since everything, though it seems like driving lessons more driving lessons are off the chart lately. He's had a fair bit of practice and he's a surprisingly fast learner when he puts his mind to it. While Tony delves into his own business, Dave has been studying the art of skillful driving. When he can't physically get behind the wheel, it's books or videos and idle thinking about it. Eventually, between feeling stifled from school and stressed from everything, he gives into the compulsion to swipe Tony's keys and stuff them in his pocket.

He'll probably never notice. He definitely won't. He's busy. He probably won't even care if Dave returns the car in one piece, which he will. It's getting later in the evening when he gives into further compulsion and just fucking drives the car out of the Tower garage. Tinted windows and competent, smooth driving don't exactly paint him as someone doing something that's likely illegal. He keeps thinking someone will notice, but the further he goes the less likely it seems.

He's driven around for at least an hour, going nowhere in particular and doing nothing in particular other than listening to the radio and drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. It's only when he starts to reapproach the tower that he starts to feel panic brewing up out of nowhere. What if someone figured him out? What if they're all there waiting for him to pull in? Avengers, Peacekeepers, President Snow and his shitty Escort all there and ready to throw him in the slammer. He can't stand the idea that Tony might actually be a little fucking pissed over this, which really negates the concept of teen rebellion. He pulls over a little while away from the tower, thumbing through his communicator as he tries to think of who to summon for a little help here.

Feferi? No. He doesn't want to fishappoint her. That rules Clara out too. And Elsa. God damn. Nobody he knows is helpful. Karkat would start impotently shrieking and he'd probably never let him live it down. He doesn't trust any of the Avengers not to get mad or tell Tony and that leaves one person. Bro. He definitely does not have to worry about disappointing Bro. He's already done all he can to fall short of that great, looming shadow. He'll never be as badass or as ballsy as Bro, but he can trust him more than anyone to keep a secret and not start on the soft spoken guilting or the heavy handed ranting. If anything, he'll make him feel stupid for caring so much and they can call it a day.

So, in rapid succession, he leaves voice messages for Bro. He doesn't call, that would be weird.

"That alley a block down from the Tower is nice."

"I think you should check it out."

"I still have that napkin you gave me for my birthday, by the way."

"I could really use-" You? "Stuff."

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

Bro isn't doing too much when he's alerted to the voicemail. Life between arenas is annoyingly boring, so he passes the time by sewing smuppets or toying with the idea of trying to start up a Panem Puppet website. He's pretty sure it would be a hit, he just isn't sure if he could actually get away with it, so for now it's nothing but a dream. He nearly jabs himself with the needle when the sound goes off, all his concentration thoroughly broken. "Goddamn it." There's no worse feeling than getting bothered when you're ass deep in sewing a puppet.

That feeling softens a little when he realizes they're from Dave and then he just gets paranoid when he listens to them. It's easy to be paranoid when things sound cryptic- like, is Dave in some sort of trouble? Is he being vague to avoid Capitol repercussion? The possibilities are endless.

All in all, he isn't just going to blow this off, so he tosses the smuppet he's working on over his shoulder and heads out to the alley that Dave mentioned. Of course he's on edge the entire time, waiting to find Dave in some kind sort of ugly situation. He isn't expecting Dave to be in a car, so he ends up walking right by it without even realizing Dave is in it. When Dave doesn't immediately appear, he just lets out an impatient scoff, lifting his communicator so he can shoot Dave a voicemail.

"Alright jackass, you got me. Where are you?"

[shenunigans]

There's a part of Dave that wonders if Bro plans on coming at all. His sense of time isn't completely skewed, so he starts getting paranoid long before he can logically even be here. By the time he does, he's pretty much sunk as low as he can in his seat. The lights of the car are off, giving all sorts of creepy vibes as he chills all alone in this godforsaken moral GPS machine.

He hasn't even considered how the messages might have come across, because this is not a big deal. Nope. Everyone steals cars from their much older friends, it's a coming of age thing. The fact that he's returning it doesn't seem to overturn the fact that he stole it in the first place, which is the worst part.

When Bro arrives, it's hard not to do something obnoxious like honk his horn or flash his lights or speed toward him and stop before he runs him over. It's genetically coded in him as a little brother to try, but he refrains, opting instead to slide the window down and poke his sad, stupid head out of it. His hand follows so he can replay Bro's message for him, then he gives him a gormless look. "How much?" Inferring your brother is a prostitute is definitely more mature.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Bro turns around a little too quickly when he hears noise behind him. Color him fifty shades of on edge right now, but he just has this feeling or something that something is up. So when he turns to see Dave poking his head out of a car, he can't help but grow even more suspicious. But not suspicious enough to not play along.

"Fi' dolla," he says, folding his arms over his chest. "Make you holla."

He clears his throat and steps towards the car. For a brief moment, he places a hand on the hood and leans forward, running a hand up his thigh. "You sure you can afford this?" But then the games are over and he stands up straight. "You mind telling me what you're doin', because there's all kinds of shit wrong with this scenario right now. You got a dead body in the trunk?"

Bro almost sounds hopeful.

[shenunigans]

"You or the car? Because the answer to both is no and fuck no." He grumbles, mild regret mixing with relief over the fact that Bro is acting normal. Now he too can act normal. He raises his hand to grip the steering wheel and hunches.

"IstoleTonyStark'scar. Itookthekeysfromhisroom. Ididn'taskifIcoulddrivehiscar but. I'm here. And I drove it." He lets out a long exhale, relaxing before he hunches again and starts to twist the wheel around haphazardly. Thankfully, the car is not moving when he does this because he is miraculously not that stupid. "I made it all the way back and now I can't. Can't drive it back in the garage. Because they probably know. And that's probably a bad thing." He hisses through his teeth before jerking his head toward the seat next to him. "Doors open."

[plushaeusrumpified]

The look that he gives Dave very clearly says both but he doesn't follow it up with any sort of reply as Dave launches into his explanation.

Bro's expression doesn't change, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't impressed- for all of five seconds, until Dave gets to the problem and he can't help but let out a scoff. A very judgmental scoff. "Are you actually serious right now?" he asks, as he circles the car and opens the door so he can plop into the passenger seat.

"You do something hella badass, then you pussy out? Typical." Then he lets out another scoff, this one tinged with a vaguely bitter tone. "Like daddy Stark would even care." He folds his arms over his chest as he leans back in the seat, not putting his seatbelt on. "Honestly I'm just impressed you made it here without killing yourself."

[shenunigans]

This is sort of the reaction Dave was banking on. One that would both shame him and put things in perspective in a way only Bro can manage. He's as discreet as he can be when he exhales, because it's an embarrassment the way he needs to calm himself down.

"Fuck you." He starts with, that much is easy. "You don't know how he feels about this shit. He could be pissed, I don't know. He's all overwrought and tired and I broke the sacred trust between whatever the accurate representation of our friendship is." He crinkles his nose to give Bro the most bitter look he can muster. "Don't say daddy, that's just fodder for the creep canon. Look, he taught me how to drive, I've been practicing. I thought I'd just, y'know, whiz around the block but it's been an hour." He tightens and loosens his grip on the wheel as he considers that, trying his best to shrug effortlessly. "Pretty cool, right?"

[plushaeusrumpified]

He opens his mouth to respond to the daddy statement, but suddenly the next thing Dave says is registering on his brain and that's enough to make his words stop short. It almost feels a little like cold water has been dumped on him the way his mood flips from passive aggressive to downright pissy.

It shouldn't bother him. It shouldn't. But he's fucking bothered.

"Oh." He says it in a deadpan. "Yeah. Real cool. Fuckin' great. Awesome. Wonderful. I'm running out of words to describe how completely and utterly fan-fucking-tastic that actually is, really. Damn. Are you gonna drive this thing or are you just gonna keep using it as the world's biggest goddamn paperweight? Jesus Christ, go already."

[shenunigans]

"Are you mad I have a cool car or something? Because I don't think you really comprehend the fact that I should not be doing this." There you have it, Bro. You raised someone who cannot for the life of them comprehend passive aggression, particularly when he doesn't understand why it would be happening.

"Alright, alright. Hold on." Intent on concentrating, he absent-mindedly sticks his tongue while he fiddles everything into place and slowly starts to drive out of the alley. His turn signal is pointed toward the Tribute Tower and he's looking before turning, but it gives him a moment to give Bro an uncertain look. "So, home again, home again? Jiggity jig?"

[plushaeusrumpified]

It's rare for Bro to ever feel like actually face-palming, but Dave's reply draws that kind of response from him. He doesn't, but it's so damn tempting. He has no idea how it could go so far over his head, but there they are. "Yep." Is his oh so eloquent reply, leaving it firmly at that as Dave begins to put the car into drive and whatnot.

He's staring out the passenger window as Dave says words that he barely comprehends. "Sure," he says in a distant tone, before realizing he's barely even paying attention anymore now that his mind is full of lemon juice. "I want tacos, take me to Capitol Taco Bell or something."

That's a thing right? He's pretty sure that's a thing. If they don't have taco bell then he's going to throw a brotest and then probably get killed for it. All in the name of tacos.

"Remember you can go nine over the speed limit and they can't pull you over," he adds as an afterthought. "Oh wait, I bet someone else already taught you that."

[shenunigans]

"I don't know if anyone here eats greasy drive-thru. I don't know if anyone here actually eats. I'm pretty sure they just buy food to look at it." He grumbles, finally turning and starting to head in a random direction away from the Tribute Tower. Surely there's something around? He's skeptical, but he guesses he could always throw Bro out of the car to get food.

"Man, now I want a taco." He says that in his most petulant voice, groaning and pausing when Bro starts to offer him advice. "I dunno. I don't want to risk getting pulled over at all. Would they even care that I don't have a license? Do celebrities get away with under-aged driving?" He babbles, then pauses and considers what Bro has said for a moment before it actually hits him. "Are you.. Are you jealous? Of Tony? Seriously?"