"There's something wrong when they're on your hips- or my chest." He lulls his head to the side as if he's slowly resigning himself to the eventual fit he's lead Karkat into. He raises his hands lazily in surrender, turning his head back toward Karkat. There's a momentary flash of discomfort when he brings Sollux to the table, because it brings to light all the guilt he feels for seemingly moving in on his lady in his absence. He's been gone so long, Feferi deserves to be able to move on, it just feels like moving on with Dave of all people is what's wrong most of all here.

"Hey, hey. Careful there, that's royalty you're slandering." He says matter-of-factly, gathering the confidence to continue with ease. "I guess that is what this is, though. The whole cuddling and holding hands and proudly showing her my chest in a desperate attempt to claim my position of the teen alpha male. Not that any of you clowns make that hard, by the way. Are you even trying? Get a job. Get a date. You're perfectly loveable, Karkat. You just need to put yourself out there and eventually you'll me as smug as I am with my wholly fulfilling romance."