Sam stays quiet while Kurloz talks, just letting him get it out. He pulls him in close, hugs on to him as tight as he can.
It's hard, listening to Kurloz talk about himself like there's no good in him. Like because he's making it all up as he goes along, just trying to do right by the people he loves, he's somehow different than them at the core, less worthy. Like he doesn't know that most of the time, that's all the rest of them are trying to do, too.
Although no, it's not really like, Sam's pretty sure that's exactly what it is.
It's far from the first time that Sam's sat with someone who told him about the terrible things they did, about how that's all they were, and it felt like they were living a lie because no one else could see them. Because that's all they can see when they look in the mirror, and they don't understand why everyone else can't see it painted all over them.
But it's different because Kurloz is his friend. It's a pretty much impossible to be anything like emotionally detached here.
"So you wandered off the path." Sam finishes the sentence for him, voice soft, before he goes silent again.
His heart breaks a little when Kurloz says that Gamzee didn't deserve that. "I know, man, I know. It shouldn't have happened, and I am so damn sorry that it did."
God damn the Capitol.
"You stay sane for the people you love because you don't want to disappoint them, but there's times when it overwhelms you, when it gets too be too much because they can't see you're not the person they think you are, not when you keep failing like this. Not when all you can see is the way you failed, the so many things you could've done different." His voice cracks a little, and he swallows. "But brother, believe me, there is no such thing as a good person who's never been a failure. And this is not your fault, this is all on the Capitol."
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It's hard, listening to Kurloz talk about himself like there's no good in him. Like because he's making it all up as he goes along, just trying to do right by the people he loves, he's somehow different than them at the core, less worthy. Like he doesn't know that most of the time, that's all the rest of them are trying to do, too.
Although no, it's not really like, Sam's pretty sure that's exactly what it is.
It's far from the first time that Sam's sat with someone who told him about the terrible things they did, about how that's all they were, and it felt like they were living a lie because no one else could see them. Because that's all they can see when they look in the mirror, and they don't understand why everyone else can't see it painted all over them.
But it's different because Kurloz is his friend. It's a pretty much impossible to be anything like emotionally detached here.
"So you wandered off the path." Sam finishes the sentence for him, voice soft, before he goes silent again.
His heart breaks a little when Kurloz says that Gamzee didn't deserve that. "I know, man, I know. It shouldn't have happened, and I am so damn sorry that it did."
God damn the Capitol.
"You stay sane for the people you love because you don't want to disappoint them, but there's times when it overwhelms you, when it gets too be too much because they can't see you're not the person they think you are, not when you keep failing like this. Not when all you can see is the way you failed, the so many things you could've done different." His voice cracks a little, and he swallows. "But brother, believe me, there is no such thing as a good person who's never been a failure. And this is not your fault, this is all on the Capitol."