He knows this is stupid. He knows he's making a poor choice right, right now, and making on fucking up a whole lot more than he's willing and wanting to pay for. It' different than his wishing Mituna and Kankri would just get it over with already, solve what shit they got together and just be. It's different than his saying, 'sure Signless, you can have a human up in your red quadrant and the quadrant pale what I'm being in, you can have anyone'. It was not like Riley being gone to Sam made it okay for him to step on into that and it wasn't like Sam's needing his own help with shit just as much made that somehow his fuckin business.
It ain't his place, none of it. Sam needed not to have Riley's place trampled upon, wounds torn. Mituna needed someone what wasn't him. Signless needed all as many motherfuckers as he seemed on thinking he needed. He can't hurt them like that. And still more relevantly, he couldn't do that for a human what, as Jane had so proven to him, no matter how close and much it seemed like them romancings was being the same, it wasn't. That memory still stings. "Do you hate me or not?" "...No."
He really is already too deep if he's gotta find reasons as to make this not be. When he really works his motherfucking thinkpan, he knows that. But what can he really do? Nothing. Just feel real motherfucking relieved when Sam answers all like that.
It shows in his smile, in his laugh. "I know it must be so motherfucking hard for you. ALL SUCH THINGS DAMN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE," He teases in turn.
He listens along and nods. The ball of nerves what's formed up in his guts is loosening up again. Slow, easy, careful. They could manage this. He could manage that. And, fuck, he might just makes Signless and all everybody proud with what at he's learned. "Sounds bitchin," He says, swallowing. "THANK YOU, BROTHER."
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It ain't his place, none of it. Sam needed not to have Riley's place trampled upon, wounds torn. Mituna needed someone what wasn't him. Signless needed all as many motherfuckers as he seemed on thinking he needed. He can't hurt them like that. And still more relevantly, he couldn't do that for a human what, as Jane had so proven to him, no matter how close and much it seemed like them romancings was being the same, it wasn't. That memory still stings. "Do you hate me or not?" "...No."
He really is already too deep if he's gotta find reasons as to make this not be. When he really works his motherfucking thinkpan, he knows that. But what can he really do? Nothing. Just feel real motherfucking relieved when Sam answers all like that.
It shows in his smile, in his laugh. "I know it must be so motherfucking hard for you. ALL SUCH THINGS DAMN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE," He teases in turn.
He listens along and nods. The ball of nerves what's formed up in his guts is loosening up again. Slow, easy, careful. They could manage this. He could manage that. And, fuck, he might just makes Signless and all everybody proud with what at he's learned. "Sounds bitchin," He says, swallowing. "THANK YOU, BROTHER."