Sam goes still when Kurloz says that he likes him more than he should. He tries not to, tries not to show any reaction to that, but he can’t help it. He’d thought it hadn’t meant anything, that for Sam, Kurloz was in the same kind of category as Riley. Not exactly - it wasn’t the same, no one else could ever be Riley, and Sam would never want anyone to.
But on the same level. If it weren’t for the only having one moirail thing, Sam wouldn’t really have thought anything of it. Steve and Nat are there, too, just, well. In a very different way. Jet and Albert are his brothers, too, but somehow that feels different as well, and Bucky… yeah, Sam doesn’t even know where to start with Bucky. Maybe that’s the closest.
Which is another thing - Sam wouldn’t have thought to divide them all up like that, try to categorize what they all meant to him when all that mattered for the moment was that it was ‘a lot.’ Too much, maybe, in Kurloz’s case. Sam isn’t sure where the lines are here, but he’s worried he’s already stepping over them. If he’s being honest, he’s kind of worried that he wants to step over them more than he wants to respect them. That the way he feels about the guy and the nature of their friendship is already crossing over into moirail territory, and even thinking about that… he doesn’t want to change it.
And yet, he doesn’t say any of that. Maybe he should, maybe he should just be honest with Kurloz, because God knows Sam’s usually big on honesty being the best policy. But really, he can’t see what good it’ll do. Sam’s human. He isn’t trying to be Kurloz’s moirail, wouldn’t even know what to do with it if he was. All he wants to do is be his friend, be his brother in arms, and maybe try to give him some of the building blocks that Sam’s had to work with, trying to make sense of things these past few years.
Especially that last part. If Sam tells him, maybe Kurloz’ll pull away, maybe he won’t want to work on coping mechanisms. And shit, he needs them just as much as Sam did, especially in a place like this. That’s more important than anything else Sam might have to say.
So he quirks a little smile. “You’re asking me not to be charming, really?” he teases gently. “But I got you, man. Like I said, I don’t want to do anything that’ll complicate things for you. So we’ll go slow, we’ll be careful, and you tell me to knock it off whenever. Just think of it like me giving you some tools and showing you how to use them, but it’s gonna be up to you to build the foundation.”
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But on the same level. If it weren’t for the only having one moirail thing, Sam wouldn’t really have thought anything of it. Steve and Nat are there, too, just, well. In a very different way. Jet and Albert are his brothers, too, but somehow that feels different as well, and Bucky… yeah, Sam doesn’t even know where to start with Bucky. Maybe that’s the closest.
Which is another thing - Sam wouldn’t have thought to divide them all up like that, try to categorize what they all meant to him when all that mattered for the moment was that it was ‘a lot.’ Too much, maybe, in Kurloz’s case. Sam isn’t sure where the lines are here, but he’s worried he’s already stepping over them. If he’s being honest, he’s kind of worried that he wants to step over them more than he wants to respect them. That the way he feels about the guy and the nature of their friendship is already crossing over into moirail territory, and even thinking about that… he doesn’t want to change it.
And yet, he doesn’t say any of that. Maybe he should, maybe he should just be honest with Kurloz, because God knows Sam’s usually big on honesty being the best policy. But really, he can’t see what good it’ll do. Sam’s human. He isn’t trying to be Kurloz’s moirail, wouldn’t even know what to do with it if he was. All he wants to do is be his friend, be his brother in arms, and maybe try to give him some of the building blocks that Sam’s had to work with, trying to make sense of things these past few years.
Especially that last part. If Sam tells him, maybe Kurloz’ll pull away, maybe he won’t want to work on coping mechanisms. And shit, he needs them just as much as Sam did, especially in a place like this. That’s more important than anything else Sam might have to say.
So he quirks a little smile. “You’re asking me not to be charming, really?” he teases gently. “But I got you, man. Like I said, I don’t want to do anything that’ll complicate things for you. So we’ll go slow, we’ll be careful, and you tell me to knock it off whenever. Just think of it like me giving you some tools and showing you how to use them, but it’s gonna be up to you to build the foundation.”