"Charming," he says, covering whether he's actually disgusted or not by tossing back a little more water. "You're cleaning up a mess, too? You have to wonder if they just handed out these positions like candy to the nearest person who wanted to get close to the 'celebrities'."

He makes air-quotes at that last bit. "We're too soft on them in general. Back when I worked in Ten we were allowed to whip them if they acted up. Never had to, because the threat alone worked wonders. Then again, we were also working with actual children."