thecapitol | Maybe I'm a sinner and not a saint

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Maybe I'm a sinner and not a saint

Who| Jennifer Blackwood & You.
What| Open log to chat with the Tribute Comfort & Care Administrator
Where| Jennifer's office in the Tribute Center
When| Anytime this month. Feel free to specify as needed.
Warnings/Notes| N/A

With the new influx of Tributes, Jennifer has had her work cut out for her. There are so many files to memorize, so many new faces to welcome to the Capitol. It's time consuming, but she finds purpose in it, and playing welcoming committee chair is something she's rather good at. The task of putting a friendly, human face to the Capitol is difficult, but she's somehow thriving. Of course, it doesn't hurt to have so many wonderful stylists and escorts on her side for this.

And happily, she's found some recent success in terms of Tribute requests. By all accounts, Feferi's salt water shampoo campaign is a real hit, and Buddy Glass has reported his satisfaction with Junior Peacekeeper Terezi's role as a media assistant, and Justine Florbelle was apparently pleased with her medical intern, Joly. And Jennifer had just received the happy news that Albert and Jet would be allowed a special suite to share, one which would unite the second and third floors. Construction would soon be underway, and Jennifer was pleased to share the news with them. Little things like that mattered in the end. Happy Tributes meant happy viewers at home, and happy viewers meant a happy President. And that was the bottom line, wasn't it?

In spite of the work she had before her, Jennifer purposely kept open office hours to allow Tributes, mentors, and employees of the Tribute Center to visit her to petition for various requests. Everyone was welcome to see her, but Jennifer was cautious after the incident with Eponine and found she was more likely to call for Peacekeeper back up than ever before. The moment a situation seemed like it would get out of hand, she would press one of several alarms hidden around her office and alert the authorities that she was in distress. These alarms were a new addition to her office, but a necessary one. She wasn't going to risk being attacked by a Tribute again.

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Jennifer looked up from her reading, tilting her head to better see the visitor at the door, meeting the unfamiliar face with a pleasant, sanitized. No, wait. He was familiar. She'd just read his file. Phillip... something.

"Yes, please come in. It's Mister Gray, isn't it? Phillip Gray? Did I get that right?" She rose from her seat to properly greet and welcome him into the office. "Please make yourself comfortable. Could I get you some tea or coffee perhaps?"

"Coffee would be nice, if it's no trouble," he was quick to go back to his usual message voice, with a smile to boot.

"Yeah, Phillip Gray and I've been interacting more with some of the others here and, wow this is different." He was lying through his teeth when he said this was different if his file mentioned anything about the Pizzeria.

"So, um," he huffed a little and clapped his hand, "What am I doing here?" He didn't want to have Karkat and Sandy threatened for their explanations, and hopefully, he could come off as more ingenue than investigating. "What sort of clothes are these? Not that I mind them, better than the neon purple uniform I had but...this District 6, I'm a blank slate."

"It's no trouble at all," she nodded, moving about the room to get the china set from a side table near a window. She took her time, pouring drinks for them both and set his before him as she took a seat.

"So, you're here and you're new and you have lots of questions, I see. Let's address them one at a time. You're here to serve as a Tribute in the Hunger Games, representing District Six. Has anyone told you what the Games are yet?"

"The welcoming committee did, before I could thank them for, uh, saving me from a rather unfortunate outcome back home," Phil answered, graciously accepting the drinks and for the events that had him come into this world.

"Is there any way I can visit the District I'm representing? How will I know I'm due at the Arena?" he asked, taking a sip and looking at her in the eye. "You're probably thinking I'm some ignorant schlub for asking all these."

Phil did notice the security outside, a pair of Peacekeepers doing very close rounds "Had an incident in here? If you don't mind me asking. You're the first Capitol representative I've seen."

"I don't mind you asking at all, and you're hardly ignorant for not understanding straight away." She paused, cupping her hands around her mug, letting it warm her fingers. "The last Tribute who came to visit me decided to spit in my face and threaten me with bodily harm. Having Peacekeepers outside is simply a precaution now. It's so strange, it was never like this before..."

She trailed off, eyes drifting toward the framed photograph of her husband on her desk, overlooking the conversation in his stern, commanding style. Her gaze only lingered for a moment before she looked back to PG.

"Tributes were allowed to visit their districts last year. I'm not aware of any current travel plans, but I can certainly look into it. As for the Arena schedule..." Jennifer chuckled and tutted softly. "They don't give us much more than a week or so of warning for that, but as best we can tell Arenas occur every two months."

Phil swallowed a little harder at that arena answer and sighed, "Worth a shot, you know? I dunno what my file says about me but I like being prepared for, um, lethal situations." He tried another question, actually concerned about Jennifer, "That tribute didn't follow through right?"

Even those who were trying to help weren't exempt from the violence of this place. "I'd like to visit sometime...just to know the people I'm putting my life on the line."

Jennifer shook her head, genuinely touched by his concern. "No, of course not. I'm well protected. And besides, I had my knight in shining armor to guard me." By which she didn't mean her husband. Instead she meant Calendius, who was more like a lapdog than anything else, though she'd come to regard him fondly and rely on him as her personal muscle. "I can tell you a bit about the Districts, if you like. You see, I used to be an escort. I travelled all over Panem, guiding the Victors and Tributes to their engagements. I've been to every District in the country."

"Well good! And I'd like that, I mean the Districts, yes," and there went any semblance of Phil being smooth with anyone, ever. "Whatever you have and, um, well, I'll learn it! Wait, whaddya mean engagements? As in public events, with people?"

Yes, Phil. With people. As a manager, he was always behind the scenes. As a night guard, he survived by not being seen. This was definitely different.

"Victors have certain obligations, or they used to before we began using off-world Tributes. Every Victor was expected to visit the other Districts and make public appearances of gratitude. It's a long held custom in Panem." She smiled, thinking back fondly to the Victors she had escorted back in District Nine, so long ago now. "The Districts are located across this continent. Each is responsible for producing specific goods which are then sent to the Capitol to be redistributed. They are all different and all are vital to our way of life.'

Except Three, apparently. But no one ever talked about that.

Phil wanted to talk about District 3 but he figured it was best to well enough alone and not suffer through answers he wouldn't like. He did see the smile and mirrored it as he spoke, "You've been doing this for a while now...you're proud of it. Now what do the new victors do? Recover and get ready?"

He played with his pockets, with a thought that had worried him for a while, "Is there a way to see past arenas? To see what other victors had performed. Can't go wrong with being prepared!" That and to see if what Sandy had said was true, that Foxy had been in Panem. Or at least a counterpart.

Jennifer reached for her coffee cup, sipping it thoughtfully. "Well, I trained as an escort from the time I was in my late teens, with District Nine, initially, and I served for several years before earning a promotion to District Two. I retired to marry, then was called back into service just a few months ago, in this position, to oversee operations in the Tribute Center and to manage the escorts. Working in this field is what I've wanted all my life. I've worked closely with so many Victors, participated in reapings, escorted my charges to and from the Games and related events. It's a busy life for escorts and mentors alike. You see, Victors must mentor the next batch of Tributes after they win. It's a very important position for them, and escorts manage the day-to-day affairs of the Tributes and Victors."

His follow up question puzzled her a bit, but she responded with a shrug. "Of course there are. Not only do we rebroadcast some of the Arenas regularly, but we have an open archive to all Tributes. You're welcome to browse through the selections at anytime, and I'd be happy to pull out some of my favorites for you to watch."

"No rest fir the wicked huh? At least...at least the victors can help out as best as they can. That, that's a plus..."

Favorites? That was not a term Phil would use after seeing Karkat and Sandy's reactions to questions about the arena. He blinked for a moment and resume with his grin though he did show confusion, "Ah ha...sure! I'd like to see."

Jennifer was one of the nicest people in the Capitol but it still unnerved Gray about how normalized these events were to the people. That there had been children sent over to fight to the death while the Districts cheered them on. Some districts encouraged the tributes, he had found out on his own, willingly offering their own flesh and blood to the Games. He silently made a pact not to harm kids as long as he could avoid it.

"It's a dazzling flurry of activity," Jennifer said, lips pursed in a smile. "But it's the law and our custom. All of it has a point and purpose. It's up to every citizen to do their part now, to ensure the peace and stability of our world."

And as for her favorites... "I'll have some video sent up to your suite. You and your Districtmates can watch over them whenever you like." She considered which ones to pull, recalling Finnick, Valerius, Crito, Johanna, and Torin as particular favorites in her mind.

"That would be great! Thank you so much for the videos, I can work with that!" he responded with a bright grin but he added one more question, "Since it's, uh, my first arena...are there counselors for the event of..death?" He could use one right now, due to the whole nearly stuffed into certain gory and unpleasant death.

"I need to talk to that person, yes."

She shook her head, expressing her concern. "Unfortunately, we don't have a specific staff member dedicated to psychological care. However, you're always welcome to come speak with me, if you need someone to talk to."

Whatever jolly facade Phil had dropped at this and he swallowed, "I-I'll keep that in mind." He wanted to tell her, tell someone about what he had gone through. He wanted to be able to sleep and not see those face again. In fact, remembering those moments made him shake a little, forcing the man to close his eyes and breathe in short bursts.

"Sh..shit...I'm sorry, I should go now."

He couldn't let anyone know about the panic attacks, or the flashbacks or anything. He had an image to uphold. He could weather it out.

Jennifer smiled gently, standing up to walk him to the door. "No need to apologize. And remember, my office is open to you and the rest of the Tributes at any time. It's my job to help you, and I take that job very seriously, Phillip."

Her voice was a calming thread for Phil, enough for him to walk with her, "And by the looks of this place, you're doing a great job." He really meant that and he gave her a slightly shaky bow. "Thanks for letting me in on such short notice like this. If you need anything, I'll be at your service."

Lord knows his floor will need Jennifer's counseling.

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Maybe I'm a sinner and not a saint

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