thecapitol | Are we lobbing hand grenades kiddo? No I don't think we are.

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Are we lobbing hand grenades kiddo? No I don't think we are.

Who: Sandy and Open To All.
What: Training to become a Jill-of-all-trades
Where: The Training Center
When: A week or so after the Mini-arena

And so it had ended...with somewhat of a bang and crash followed by some wheezing and whimpering. Sandy Marko had died exactly as planned.

She'd tried her best as she always did, and she took some amount of pride in that. No matter what the Capitol threw at her when the arena came she always went down swinging even if the mistakes she made were stupid ones.

And so her routine returned to normal. Wake up, eat breakfast, catch up on whatever news might actually effect her (Which really removed a large portion of what the Capitol called "News") and hit the training hall before lunch.

In her usual training center jump suit she warmed up with a few laps on a treadmill before picking a table at random to either learn a new skill or brush up on an old one.

Given her size she knew that most of the time if she got into a fight she wouldn't have the luxury of making mistakes. It wasn't impossible for her to win (there was evidence of that as much as it gave her nightmares) But it was difficult enough she needed to have as many tools at her disposal as possible.

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Mindy was here (big surprise there) but there seemed to be something distant here, as if she were going through the motions. She'd always had a fierceness in her face, a determination that her body would be pushed to the limits but she would brave them with no hesitation. She was usually focused, intent on her goal.

Now, she was just working out. Seeing Sandy was here, Mindy made sure she didn't infringe on the girl's time. She had enough to worry about, and the latest loss had been revolting enough that she would have understood if she wanted to be alone for a little while. She gave the girl wide enough berth.

Sandy appreciated the space, honestly she'd have been irritated if Mindy was the first person to come talk to her because it seemed like she and Mindy never did get along the way Mindy hoped. They kept crashing at one another like they were supposed to be friends but all that ever happened was they shouted at one another till they were exhausted.

That wasn't friendship right?

Still she kept an eye on Mindy, something didn't feel right about her today. Something seemed like it was missing. Had living the Capitol life finally taken it's toll on her? Was she just depressed to the point of barely caring?

Slowing her own task (Which at the moment was knot tieing) Sandy watched Mindy and tried to suss out just what was so off about her today.

Of course she could just go up and ask but that would be silly.

It seemed almost a long time ago that she was trying to appeal to Sandy. She liked the girl even though every time they talked to each other something would happen that would get them at each others throats, but she was always a good enough kid. The last fight had felt like it strangled their relationship a bit, but after recent events, it seemed like a blip in her radar.

After all, Sandy had Pruna back. A part of her, she knew, envied her. She knew how important Pruna was to Sandy: it was good that she helped anchor the girl. Despite that, Mindy had to see her friends get smaller and smaller, to the point now that she wondered how many were even left anymore. If she made new ones, would the Capitol just take them away to mock her?

She hit the punching bag, but even here, where she could let loose with her aggression, she only felt a little vindictive. They'd squeezed a little of her fight out of her, and this knowledge was repulsive enough.

A year ago Sandy would have never noticed the lack of passion in Mindy's punches...but alot had happened in the last year and her eyes had become sharper and more critical of peoples movement.

She struggled internally for a few minutes as her brain shouted at her to simply leave the area before she was dragged back into Mindy's spiral of bullshit. But her heart ached for someone who she honestly thought meant well no matter how many times they failed.

Opting for some comfortable middle ground between friend and acquaintance, She picked up a wooden practice knife and threw it at Mindy from behind.

They could have continued their whole training sessions in silence, considering the distance between them, but Sandy took that moment to close that now. Mindy didn't stop to think: she felt the movement behind her and struck her arm out quick, deflecting the wooden knife and it fell harmlessly to the ground, only scratching Mindy a little bit. She turned around, trying to look annoyed but failing, a small smile threatening to poke through her gloom.

"OK, you have my attention," she said, raising an eyebrow. "And since you had mine too...you look good. Better even."

"Yeah well, I think i'd have to try pretty to hard to look worse." She joked bitterly.

"You looked like maybe you were distracted so I wanted to see just how distracted you were." She added gesturing to the practice blade.

"You could ALWAYS look worse," Mindy said with a chuckle. "Hell, you don't even have to try too hard, if you think about it."

She looked down at the blade. "If I were less distracted I would have caught the thing. My mood's been in the shitter lately, so it makes my enthusiasm take a nosedive. A shame, I was going for the 'comfortable aloof' look, but I guess I just look emo instead."

That was almost a compliment! Clearly being in a foul mood hadn't changed her desire to be friendly with Sandy.

"Yeah well you think too much that's your problem." Seemed like they were always pointing out each others flaws. "People who think aren't as happy in the Capitol as the bubble heads."

So it wasn't really being critical, in a way it too was almost a compliment.

"Can't help it," Mindy said, shaking her head, running a hand over her hair. "You know the Capitol: when they do something, they really do it. With all the bullshit they've pulled, I was sure they couldn't get to me again. I thought I was ready. They pulled another fast one."

She sighed. "It's fucking annoying too. You try to focus on something and they go and screw up your concentration. Like I need new problems."

"Well at least you aren't expected to fight each day." Sandy pointed out with only the most basic of optimism.

Daring to move closer and deciding clearly Mindy needed some support she gave the girl a pat on the shoulder.

"You're still standing. With everything you've gone through that's pretty tough."

They'd all been through their fair share of hell. They were just dealing with it in different ways. Sandy had the impending doom of an arena and a support system of different people to help pick her up. But who did Mindy have?

Sandy wasn't entirely sure anymore.

Mindy turned to Sandy. "Well, no one has to...on the outside, anyway."

Cryptic, but leaning on the obvious side, really. The pat on the shoulder amused her, but not in a cruel way. It was something she would have done, were their places reversed.

"Priding myself on being an emotionless robot isn't helping," she said, with no small amount of self reflection. Sure, she could deal with it. Yes, she would call herself a pussy for not getting up and shrugging it off. In the end though, it felt hollow, and try as she might she couldn't wrap her head around forgetting.

"I know I'll be fine, in time. Told myself that when they took people I knew before. It hurt. I guess...this one hit really close to home in a way that fucked me up."

Sandy nodded in understanding "Every time you think you've hit rock bottom they yank the rug out from under you." She acknowledged. "But you're not a very good emotionless robot unless you're you know...stabbing things. I've seen how you are out here and you get plenty riled up. You just don't have anything to do with all that energy." She paused and added "Nothing productive anyway. Training doesn't count."

Because she would have been training anyway.

"I dunno how to help you...but at least you know you're not totally alone."

It's on the treadmills that Gary finds Sandy. He was planning on running a few laps himself--'planning' being used in the loosest sense, as in, 'he was taking a walk around the building and thought it might be a fun idea'--so talking to Sandy while he's here does not strike him as too inconvenient. Uncomfortable, perhaps, but not so much that it must be avoided.

Gary takes up the treadmill next to her with a hopeful smile. "Hey there!" he chuckles nervously. "Keeping busy?"

See? Friendly! They can be friends. Nothing wrong here at all.

"Tell me something I don't know," Mindy sighed, shaking her head. "Ever since I came back, its been the same thing. I know I ought to be happy enough I don't have to go back to killing people and everything, but you still have to find some kind of enjoyment in the Capitol, right? I don't have the right distraction right now."

And truth be told, she could use some more kids days. She needed them.

"I feel like this'd be something I would tell you," she said, "and I have a feeling it'd probably have the same result too."

Sandy doesn't lose her stride but she turns her head enough to look down at him from the machine as the belt whirs under her. She's very swift as one could expect from her size.

"What do you want jerk?" She greeted him with disdain in her voice. Clearly she wasn't as optimistic about this meeting as he was.

"Yeah well, it's gotten us this far for whatever it's worth."

Which really wasn't that far to be fair.

"All I can think to do is be districted. Video games, art. Eating till I'm sick then sleeping then training till I'm exhausted and sleeping some more."

Sleep was the one escape they could have and even then nightmares were often not far behind.

"Do any of the adults have any bright ideas? I usually get Shepard to give me advise."

"As far as someone groping their way in a dark cave," Mindy supplied dryly. "Our existence here is pretty damn bleak, but it kinda always was for a kid anyway."

To think, the place used to be nothing BUT kids. It still boggled her mind it did not stay this way.

"I don't know what the adults are doing right now. I should see Shepard again though. Clear my head a little."

Sandy nodded in agreement. This was a good plan. When in doubt speak to your commanding officer. That's what grown ups did right?

"The kids before us never had a chance." Sandy took aim with her knife again and threw it watching it find the target in the belly bouncing to the ground.

"In for a week. Then the arena. No returns. And some of them couldn't even trust the other tribute from their district. In my district before Katniss and Peeta the only mentor they had was Haymitch...who is a total drunk and kind of a jerk." She explained. "It's no wonder District 12 went so long without winners."

Among the various things Sandy had done with her time in the Capitol she'd done some brushing up on her history books. Capitol History might have been mostly doctored but there were still things that were interesting to know.

Mindy wondered if anyone ever really felt that they had someone they could easily trust in a place like this, but Shepard would probably be up on the top of the list, especially because she had already admitted to some of her own sordid history.

"So I heard. I can imagine that the kids who had to run through the games had it worst of all. Katniss really must have messed up the system pretty well, to have them change how things get dolled out. How much scarier is it to lose your kid in a lottery that everyone pretty much goes along with."

She nodded. "I met that guy for a short while. He was pretty ornery. You'd think he would be around Katniss and Peeta now though, paying attention. Someone's got to."

Mindy wasn't feeling any better, she was just distracting herself with this kind of talked. It helped a little, anyway.

Sandy shook her head.

"Katniss and Peeta more or less run things now. Haymitch is always off drinking himself stupid. Especially now that Effie...left." She felt a sudden grip on her throat when she spoke Effie's name and wondered if she'd ever be able to talk about the woman again.

"So they do their best and so do we which is all anyone can ask. They have the same problem you do though about being young mentors. Alot of their tributes are older then them."

"I'm still sorry about Effie," she said, "even more so now. I thought I understood her going, you know when I was trying to make you feel better. They took a lot of people I like away, and that sucked. But nothing compared to finding out that Ellie was gone. I was a mess."

She paused, grasping for the words, then cleared her throat. "Sometimes that's the problem. Other times, its just trying to wrap your head around what's going on next. Once you think you understand something, the Capitol throws a monkey wrench in it. You never have a chance to breathe."

Sandy nodded, on some level a little vindicated that Mindy now understood exactly why her entire world seemed to be so wrecked by Effie's departure.

"That's part of how they keep us in line I guess. Make sure we can't find any steady ground to run on."

But she was still here wasn't she? Sure it was only because the Capitol kept bringing her back, but maybe that was their mistake. Maybe they were underestimating how many times they could press their luck with her. After all she'd already taken out one of their most important public figures.

"If we just woke up tomorrow in a regular school, in a regular world how long do you think it would last before we screwed up it up by how screwed up we are?" She wondered idly.

"You'd think they'd want to do something to keep us happy, so we stupidly go along with everything," Mindy said, looking annoyed. "Not do shit like this to remind us how much we fucking hate everything. But if that's what they're aiming at, maybe its for the better. Shouldn't be getting happy about being here anyway."

She wouldn't have said it, but she was glad that they kept Sandy here. They fought enough, but at least that meant there was something worth keeping.

Mindy laughed. "You know, it wouldn't be long for me. I mean, I've been nearly killed a few damn times. School would probably bore the shit out of me. Add to that I don't take to authority figures too well. How about you?"

"Ditto." Sandy agreed trying to imagine what her life would be like.

"If there was even any city left when I got there...there were these monsters falling from the sky. Anyway if there weren't any monsters there would still be the unfair police and stuff. I'd probably use what I've learned here to leave. Get out from under the laser web and just...go somewhere else. If the Hunger Games has taught me anything it's I can survive."

Which was more then she'd ever had back home.

Mindy listened quietly. Her future sounded bleak, even more than the shit she dealt with at home, and she understood at least that the two of them were wandering kids: they could find places to pretend to fit in, but they didn't REALLY. It was more of a game to play, to keep going and keep smiling even though there was so much on them.

"We can both survive well enough. God knows your girlfriend taught you that well enough."

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Are we lobbing hand grenades kiddo? No I don't think we are.

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