thecapitol | Tell me what you want to hear

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Tell me what you want to hear

Who| Terezi and Initiate Fraysong
What| Terezi found out that Karkat and Fraysong had a run-in, and she's not too pleased about it. Talking needs to happen, about that and other things.
Where| Fraysong's room, D5
When| Backdated a little (18th)
Warnings/Notes|

It's been a few days since the incident. That's what she's choosing to call it: The Incident, if only because she's still unsure about what exactly happened between Karkat and Kurloz. She could have brought it up sooner, but with her involvement in bringing Fraysong and Signless's problems to a close, she hadn't wanted to rock the boat too much.

Now, though... Now there's nothing to keep her from getting to the bottom of this.

She greets Kurloz as she normally does as soon as curfew lifts in the morning, taking the elevator up to the District Five rooms. He's there waiting for her like he always is, and she can't help but smile at him, even with the thoughts weighing on her mind. Unlike every other morning, though, she takes his hand and pulls him back towards his room.

"I need to talk to you, just for a moment."

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The minor change in routine isn't unwelcome, but it is surprising. His brows rise up, and his head tilts at her, but he doesn't otherwise ask just yet. He lets her pull him to his room, going in after her.

He makes sure to shut the door behind, and now with them properly looking at each other-- or not looking in her case-- he turns that confusion on her. Needing to talk generally doesn't mean no good news, but in a place like this, it could be anything.

"AIGHT," He says, and he pulls her just a bit forward sit upon his pile. "Let's talk."

The confusion isn't anything that she's not expecting, but Terezi is glad that he comes along anyway. She lets him pull her towards the pile, taking a seat with him and without hesitation. She's a little unsure about bringing this up, after the blow-up that had occurred with Karkat... but she doesn't want it to happen again, and that's enough to drive her to speak.

"I heard about your run-in with Karkat." There. It's out on the table, and there's no taking it back now. She keeps a hold of his hand, not wanting to relinquish that contact. "He said you slammed him against the wall. I just... Tell me what happened. Please?"

Immediately he looks all the more unhappy. His fingers twitch, as all to pull away, but ultimately don't when she's hanging on like that. He winces as she recalls the slamming and his eyes dart down.

"SHOULD'VE FIGURED," He says. "Should've gone all as to figuring it would get back to you." He sighs.

"DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE HIM. Was going to see you. BEFORE LOOKSPHERES IS THIS MOTHERFUCKER I AIN'T WANT NONE TO DO WITH IT. Was going to leave." He wonders what it sounded like the first time she heard this, who told her. "HE GOES ON CALLING MY AND MY OTHER SELF'S NAME ALL WRONGLIKE. Motherfucker just got returning to his afters, just when I thought he was ours for all to stay, and I gotta listen to this fucker smear on his name too!? MAKE CORRECTIONAL I DO. Make clear all that we ain't meant as to be up near each other. MOTHERFUCKER SAID LIKE HE REMEMBERED NO SUCH MOTHERFUCKING THING. In all tones hashed disrespectful. WENT ON REITERATING IN KIND, SO AS HE COULD GET PROPER KNOWING ANEW, AND MADE CLEAR I GOT NO NICETY FOR HIM SO HE BEST JUST KEEP HIS TRAP SHUT BY ME. Motherfucker makes all like to shoo me off!" He mimicks the gesture what Karkat did then. Upon his face is an expression all afoul of what things he's talking about. He's getting caught right up in the memory and the ire is rising again.

"I TELL HIM NOT MAKE ALL THINGS DONE COMMANDINGLIKE. I tell him, my patience done run out. DOES HE LISTEN? Does he even get to a single slight of fathoming? OF MOTHERFUCKING COURSE NOT! He's all being like, can't even follow your own plans when they a heathen mouth makes mention of them and then saying, here's an order! I AIN'T GIVE A FUCK IF HE WAS ORDERING ME TO MAKE MYSELF A GODDAMN ICE CREAM, I WILL TAKE THAT STICK WHAT HE'S CLAIMING AS IS BEING IN MY ASS AND SHOVE IT SO FAR UP HIS CHUTE HIS EYES WILL POP OUT!"

He stops abruptly. The one hand in her squeezes and the other rises up in a stop, wait motion. His eyes close, face all twisted up as he fight that anger back. It's five, maybe ten minutes, before he's opening his eyes again.

"Sorry," He says quiet. "I KNOW HE'S YOURS. I shouldn't have motherfucking touched him. HAULED HIM THE FUCK UP TO WALL AND GOT SHATTERING THE BITS BEING BESIDE HIS HEAD. I told him... to enjoy the arenas. I FUCKED UP. I know. WASN'T MY INTENTION TO BE GOING AFTER OR NONE. You get used to having the fear to steer a fucker off. YOU GET USED TO NOT HAVING THIS ON COMING UP, WHERE MOTHERFUCKERS DON'T KNOW FOR BACKING OFF. I thought this was being past me but I guess not. I WAS SO SURE HE WAS GONE, AND THEN HE COMES BACK ALL JUST AS HE WAS AND I MOTHERFUCKING--" He shakes his head.

Edited 2014-11-25 01:06 (UTC)

Terezi listens patiently as she can. She's a little hurt at the implication that he had hoped she wouldn't find out. This is something she would have rather heard from him first. But she doesn't scold him yet, and she doesn't interrupt.

There are similarities to Karkat's story that she catches--the basics of the exchange and the way that Kurloz reacted. But there are discrepancies as well, like the shooing motion and Karkat's general contrariness. Honestly, she's not entirely surprised. And when Kurloz works himself into a rage, she's not really surprised there, either.

She waits, like he motions to. Normally, it might be a little terrifying to be faced with an angry Indigo... but she doesn't seem afraid. She only holds onto the hand that she had in her grip, squeezing it just a little, as if that might help bring him back down again. She doesn't know how to help here. She's not his moirail, and she has no desire to be. So she simply waits... and she's glad when he finally opens his eyes again and continues.

At the very least, she's glad that he understands that he shouldn't have gone so far. She's grateful for that much. "He's not just as he was, though. Yes, he's not the most agreeable person, but he doesn't remember anything from before." She tries to keep the disappointment out of her tone there. She knows that he doesn't care for the way that Karkat had acted, but to have all of that so simply erased is depressing. At least they had reached something of an understanding back then. She wasn't looking forward to all of the fighting again now.

"I'm sorry he was so rude to you. When he said that you freaked out over being ordered about, I thought it might have been something like that. I don't think he realized what lines he was crossing there." She doesn't know why she feels the need to defend him, but she does. In the same way, she felt the same need to defend him to Karkat. Is it really so much to want them to get along? She doesn't think so.

She reaches for his other hand, holding them both in hers, but looser than a moment ago. "I know you don't like him, Kurloz, but is there any way that you can... I don't know. Make amends? Start over fresh? Is there really a point in holding a grudge against someone who doesn't remember what they did?"

Edited 2014-11-25 22:11 (UTC)

He bites back the urge to say as he ain't think Karkat really cares about lines crossed. That ain't needed here. Especially with what things she offers up.

He looks at first like she's asked him to eat something distasteful. "It ain't just what all he did, it's who he motherfucking is! WHO'S TO SAY AT HE WON'T DO IT AGAIN IF AS HE'S DONE IT BEFO--" He stops himself. The realisation passes over his face, along with a phyiscal advertisement of the second one, which is, I'm a motherfucking idiot.

He might just repeat the past because it's just who he is. He hates hypocrisy and yet here he is. A moment passes, then he sighs, head drooping. "Can try," He mutters. But that said nothing for results. Last time had gone horribly, and who all could even say for Karkat.

"MIGHT NOT GO SO WELL. Still think as like staying far from that motherfucker is best. PROMISE ME ONE MOTHERFUCKING THING FIRST THOUGH."

Terezi winces a little when the protesting starts. She knew it was coming, but some small part of her had hoped that maybe her request would go over with at least one of them. The sudden stop and shift in attitude is surprising. It sounds like such a miserable admission, but she's too glad to be too concerned for him.

She squeezes his hands again, and the thought crosses her mind to give him another kiss for his trouble. It's rather funny, the habit she's forming of rewarding his good behavior with kisses. But as long as they continue to make him smile, then she'll continue to give them to him.

She halts that thought, however, when he asks her to promise him one thing. He has her full attention, and she immediately responds: "Yes, of course. Anything. What is it?"

He says but one thing; "Please don't motherfucking try at auspistizing us. I CAN'T DO THIS SHIT AGAIN ALL PRETENDING LIKE WE'S ASH."

Edited 2014-11-27 07:19 (UTC)

She can't help it. She laughs a little at that. It's good to know that it wasn't just her, being frustrated by the hopelessness of being in the wrong quadrant. And it reminds her of where they are now, even despite all that. She smiles warmer at him, then leans up to give his lips a quick kiss.

"Are you sure? I always thought it was cute, the way you called me ashleaf."

Point one for the laugh. Point two for the kiss, which he smiles right through.

"Mmm, but there are so many other things what as he can call you," He hums. "BELOVED. Dearest. DARLING. My heart and center. MY FLOWER. My protecting treeshade. MATE-ES-PIRIT~" He brings her hand up to kiss a digit for every drawn out bit of pronunciation.

Terezi ducks her head, teal flushing in her cheeks and a grin pulling at her lips. She couldn't stop either if she tried. Her heart gives a little flutter at each name, each kiss. She always liked this part of him--this rare moment of genuine affection, soft and sweet.

"My confidante. My prince." She moves her fingers from his lips to his cheek, brushing lightly against his skin. "What kind of flower could I be without the ground to keep me strong, or the wind to give me warmth?"

Names coming from her are as surprising as they are sweet. that grin, that teal flush-- point three.

"The most beautiful flower," He says. "ALL OF COLOR. The sweetest scent. THE MOST PROMISING HONEY. The strongest roots, stalk and stem, leaves all a-flourish." He brushes her hair back and kisses her, the quickest peck. "I AM EVER PRONE TO DISTRACTION ON SIGHTINGS MOST MIRACULOUS. But I am not very warm, my seer. I FEAR YOU WILL CATCH CHILL BY MINE SELF."

She can't keep up with him--with the way that he adorns her with words of praise and affection. It's nice, Terezi thinks, to hear such charming things spoken about her; and she can't deny that she likes the attention. But she also realizes that he has thoroughly distracted her from what she was supposed to be talking about, and she can't entirely convince herself that it wasn't intentional.

"You are going to make me blush with all of this praise," she teases, knowing full well that the blushing is already happening. "You can be warm enough, when you want to be. I only wish you were of a mind to let others see that, too."

Her thoughts are pulled back to Karkat again, and the way that he scoffed when she had told him that Kurloz was kind. Like it wasn't a thing that could possibly be true. "I won't auspistize between the two of you. I wouldn't dream of it. But he is not the most agreeable person, and in his mind, you've already attacked him once." And it worries her that he might not give him another chance--at least not without some kind of intervention.

She is blushing. It's a truly wonderful teal, pure as any painted color. He wants to kiss each inch of her face and feel the color for himself. He can't bring himself to be sorry for causing it. She's cute as fuck.

But, he is still in trouble, it would seem. Not that he was meaning to weasel out, but it does bring him back to focus.

"He'd not be wrong," The Initiate says. "MAY NOT MOTHERFUCKING CLAIM REMEMBRANCE OF IT, BUT I DO. I culled his ass and he's going to find out. WHAT THEN WHEN HE DOES? Think he ought know the motherfucking shape of the wicked shit. THIS ISN'T BEING LIKE WITH SIGNLESS. We had a history. THERE'S NOTHING FOR ME NOR KARKAT TO FIND OF EACH OTHER. There is no reward in forgiveness. TRY ON AMIABLE FOR YOU. But that motherfucker will find out one way or other and there ain't no taking it well no matter what we do." He looks at Terezi direct. "I AIN'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT HE DOES TO ME, IF HE WANTS TO HUNT MY ASS DOWN, SO GODDAMN BE IT. But I care what he does to you. AM I TO SIT BY SHOULD HE GET TREATING YOU LIKE SHIT AGAIN? I ain't threatening, I'm asking. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, SISTER? What's that motherfucker gonna want from you?"

Terezi does not like the idea of informing Karkat about that whole debacle. She can just imagine that he won't take it well, that he will probably log it as more proof that Kurloz is some kind of monster that might attack him at a moment's notice. Her uncertainty shows on her face as he talks, and it's not until he's finished with his questions that she bows her head a little.

"He wants us to be a team again," she answers, quieter than a moment ago. "The way that we were during the game." She's not sure what exactly he expects from that. That they should be friends and stick together? That he'll be relying on her like he was back then? But she does know that he at least wants them to be on the same side of things--something that didn't go very well in their last conversation.

"He was angry that I was defending you, when he told me what happened. He gets angry pretty easily, but I won't let it get to me this time. I promise. If he starts acting like that again, I'll put my foot down. You don't have to worry."

She knows what to watch out for this time--or rather, she hopes that she does. It helps that she knows better now, that she doesn't have to take that sort of backlash from him... And she has Kurloz to thank for that.

"As for a reward--isn't it enough to keep me from having to stand between the two of you? I don't want to have to partition my time spent with each of you, and I don't want to have to choose..." Her hand finds his again, squeezing it tightly in her grasp. "You know what I would pick if I had to, but it won't make me happy to do that. The only way that I am going to be happy with any of this is if you can manage to sort yourselves out."

Edited 2014-12-01 03:28 (UTC)

"OF COURSE IT WOULD BE GOOD AS ALL TO NOT HAVE A SISTER STANDING BETWEEN." He'd rather that never ever happen again. "But it only works if as he motherfucker agrees to it all as well." And he's got no reason to believe, even if what went down last time ain't of this motherfucker, that Karkat will do something just because Terezi would like him to.

"DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT DEFENDING ME. Don't even let it be like to a motherfucking thing, aight? JUST WORRY ABOUT YOU. Don't take no shit what makes you feel any less than what all you are. YOU BEEN NOTHING BUT GIVING TO THAT FUCKER. And me, as well." He knows he's not the easiest what to be around. He knows he's fucked up before.

He bumps her, real gentlelike. "TOOK ME BY SURPRISE HE UP AND DID. He won't again. I PROMISE." And Mirth he hopes he can keep it.

Terezi wants to tell him that Karkat will agree to the truce, but... She honestly doesn't know. It would be nice to hope that she could reason with him, that he might agree not to hold a grudge for her sake. But she isn't counting on it, and it feels like a foolish thing to hope for.

It hurts, to really think about that. But she does try to take some comfort in what he's saying. Yes, she will try not to let anything he might say get to her again. She doesn't want to feel that low again.

Her bumps her lightly, and she bumps him back. Then, carefully, she leans against him, resting her head against his shoulder. "Thank you," she says, then exhales a sigh. A small smile follows. "I trust you. I know you'll try... I will, too. I won't let him get to me."

"Good," He says. And now, he thinks, it will be alright to lean on over to kiss her. Just a quick peck, but still enough feeling to matter.

He'll not break her trust again. Whatever it takes, if he has to clamp his hands over his goddamn ears and close his eyes when being around the Vantas, he will do it. He won't ruin this.

"THANK YOU, SISTER. For the chance."

It's her this time that chases after that quick peck he gives her. She leans forward, even as he pulls back, and there's no small amount of disappointment in her expression. She listens, though, as he thanks her. And she wants to kiss him again all the more.

"You're worth it," she answers back, a smile pulling at her lips. At the very least, they've reached an agreement, and she's glad for that--even with all the trouble he's caused her. It gives her a bit of hope. Not enough to believe that everything is going to be perfectly fine... But enough that maybe they can manage.

A lengthy pause follows--during which she considers kissing him again. But she doesn't. Instead, she squeezes his hands, and the smile slips away in favor of a more serious expression.

"So... What are we going to do about this?" She gestures between herself and him.

Her little chase brings small reassurances. It's tempting to tease but he opts not and she carries on.

She gestures between the two of them and he looks his ownself over with a confused frown, looking for something what might be on him or off. There's nothing what's making notice for him.

And so leaves the second conclusion. "US?" His brows rise.

"What you thinking on, sister?"

"I mean..." She pauses, trying to make sure that her thoughts are together. "We've kept this between us right now. Being matesprits." The word still feels funny on her tongue. Her matesprit. Him. Kurloz. She thinks that it might be a while before the idea of it doesn't leave her feeling delighted and embarrassed and terrified all at once.

"I don't doubt that the Gamemakers know--" What with the cameras everywhere around the city. She's almost certain that they're listening in right now, as they speak. "But what about the rest of the Capitol? Or in the arenas? Or the rest of the tributes? Is this... Are we going to be public about this? Are you okay with everyone knowing about us?"

Truthfully, Terezi isn't sure that she's entirely okay with it. There's always that lingering fear that they might try to use him against her. And the thought of a million people out there in Panem having their own personal opinion of her relationship makes her want to recede into the darkest corner with her feelings and never show them again.

But at the same time, the thought of doing that and not being able to kiss this wonderful troll whenever she wants, of not being able to hold his hand, of not being able to tell him how much she cares about him unless they're behind closed doors... The freedom to do those things might be worth the attention.

He remembers all the hassle of doing so with Jane, not even of his choosing or willings. Having to hide it, being ignored, even when they were torn apart and knew pre-emptive they would be. always being out of reach.

He doesn't want to play that game again.

"THEY ALREADY MOTHERFUCKING KNOW. If they wanted as to hurt us, they could, ample. WOULDN'T BE NO THING WHAT WOULD STEER OFFWAYS AS WHAT'S BEING TRUE."

He knows the only way to change all that would be to fake some major strife or other, a grand betrayal, and even then he's not so sure it would work. All uncertainty laying down for something neither of them want to do. Capitol could fuck itself.

"We have at a chance being motherfucking ours now." He doesn't want to say it but... "WE AIN'T KNOW WHAT COULD HAPPEN." And so much could happen. One of them could die. One of them could be avoxed. One could be taken away and tortured and burned. The Capitol could decide at whim to make him like karkat and have him forget all everything. His thumb trace a circle on her hand. "I ain't want to wait."

He's right, of course. There's no telling what would happen in the future. There's no telling if the both of them will make it out of this alive, and that scares her. She doesn't want to lose him again. She already knows how bleak and terrible that future is.

"I'm not used to this," she says quietly. "The cameras everywhere, the interviews, the merchandise. Everyone is always trying to pry into ours lives somewhere. It's been like that since we got here, but I still don't like it. And... a part of me doesn't want them to see this. Not because I care what they think, but... I don't want them to be a part of it."

And the only way to keep them out is to hide it so that they never see it. They can speculate all they want, but the truth of the matter--the important part--would be kept away from them. Her feelings wouldn't be a show for them.

"But... I don't want to wait, either." Pretending is hard, when she wants so much to be near him so often. If she was really honest with herself, she's not sure that she could manage to keep it hidden. "Are you okay with it? With all of Panem knowing about us?"

He smiles soft. Cameras, interviews, merchandise. He's no more used to it all than she is. Audience, maybe, he could claim familiarity to, what all with his preaching, but it's not near the same. Not at motherfucking all.

He relieved with her answer, that she doesn't want to wait. He can't fault her for wanting to make clear of what's right, but he still wants to laugh light for her thinking he would give a rat's ass of anothers knowing when the choice meant having her.

Rather than answer by way of word, he leans in and kisses her again, longer this time than the last. When he stops, one hand rises to touch her face, thumb running over cheek. There's a strange morbid sight with the way her eyes are all melted down, but somehow, despite being marks of great harm, they're still lovely and he can't think he'll ever be tired of them. As though, one day, she might actually see him, if he looks long enough.

"THE ONLY THING WHAT I DON'T WANT FOR IS TO MAKE IT A SHOW FOR THEM. I don't want to kiss you for a motherfucking camera. I DON'T WANT TAKE YOUR HAND AS BEING PART OF THE GAMES. I want to do them things because I pity you, and no other meaning of it. AIGHT?" He says. "We do that, and no matter what things they say on it, it'll always get being comments from the out motherfucking side. IT WON'T BE THEIRS TO TOUCH. Only ours with whatever we want to do because we is wanting to do it."

He kisses her, and that answer is almost good enough. Better than words. She kisses him back, closing her eyes for just that moment. They open again when he draws away. She doesn't chase after him this time, but she does mirror his smile back at him, soft and warm.

"It won't ever be a show," she promises. "It won't ever be anything less than what I'm feeling. If I hold your hand, it will be because I want you near. If I kiss you, it will be because I pity you."

"THEN LET US NINJAS BE ALL ABOUT THAT." He bumps his forehead against hers. "Pity you."

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