Brainiac 5 | Querl Dox (post-zero hour) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
googledox) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thecapitol2014-08-19 03:51 am
googledox) wrote in thecapitol2014-08-19 03:51 am
Entry tags:
We Run Around the Rules
Who| Locked to Brainy and Lyle
What| Brainy promised Lyle they'd "Talk" when everything died down
Where| District 10 Common room, Lyle's Room
When| After the prison break, the pod they tripped messing the Capitol up, most of the people getting recaptured, etc.
Warnings| Verging on nsfw, though it'll FTB before it gets too bad
The day Lyle and Brainiac 5 met wasn't a particularly significant day. Brainy been puttering around his new lab at Legion HQ and all but ignored Lyle and Cosmic Boy when they tried to introduce themselves. Subsequent meetings involved him giving Lyle the cold shoulder multiple times, Lyle mocking his superhero name because it was derived from a villain's name, and Brainy reluctantly giving the team advice over their comms to keep them from, you know, dying. (He'd been very annoyed the entire time since they'd been distracting him from an experiment.)
It wasn't until the day that Lyle had come into his lab to argue (again) about tactile engineering versus pure theory - the day that he'd noticed the Valorium floating around the lab that later became the flight rings - that Brainy had actually noticed him.
The last week had been a relative disaster. He'd done everything he could, everything that had been asked of him but it still had effectively amounted to nothing. He'd delivered the tech but people got caught anyway - had gotten killed anyway, even though it had apparently worked. The people who'd escaped had mostly gotten caught again and were possibly dead. The Rebels hadn't responded to any of his attempts to communicate with them, no doubt because they didn't leave any open ends when they're weren't actively reaching out. Oh, and he and Lyle had accidentally unleashed a lovely infestation of little mutant monsters on the city in their efforts to make the tech they'd disseminated to the Tributes, terrorizing and injuring Capitol civilians in the process.
Nothing had gone right, despite his best efforts. Nothing. Yet another person was dead despite everything he'd tried to do. He didn't know Orc but he didn't have to, to feel that he had failed him. Just as he hadn't had to know Sherlock Holmes well to feel that he'd failed him as well. He simply hadn't done enough fast enough. Maybe failure was just something he needed to get used to. After all, what was a few extra lives on top of the trillions lost when the Legion wasn't able to save their universe? Maybe the days of doing exactly the right things at exactly the right time were far, far behind him.
He couldn't deal with it right now. He didn't want to.
He needed at least one thing to go right and the only good thing that had come of this place was the thing he hoped wouldn't devolve into total catastrophe the most.
He didn't know what he was going to say as he walked into the District 10 Common Room, what he was going to do. How did he even start the conversation? What could he say or do that could convey what he wanted, what he felt, when he could barely even make sense of it? He'd never been good at understanding his feelings - when he even let himself feel them - let alone been good at putting them into words.
It was with a conflicted expression on his face that he approached the kitchen, where he saw a glimpse of Lyle. He remembered the conversation they'd had that day, the day he'd actually noticed Lyle - the age-old argument, the one they still kicked around every so often whenever they were bored. He'd never changed his answer, even after all these years, ostensibly just to annoy Lyle for fun.
Thinking back to that, to how their friendship had begun, gave him exactly what he needed.
Lyle was in the kitchen dismantling the microwave when Querl found him. He grabbed him by the arm to get his attention, whirled him around, then grabbed his shirt and pulled him in close - intimately close, given how rarely Brainy let people into his personal space.
"I promised you that we would talk," he said, looking him in his eyes. "I've been trying to think of what to say. You know how hopeless I am at anything involving sentiment. However, I think I've determined the right words to convey...everything."
He took in a deep breath and said the thing he'd refused to admit for over five years:
"Tactile engineering is superior to pure theory."
What| Brainy promised Lyle they'd "Talk" when everything died down
Where| District 10 Common room, Lyle's Room
When| After the prison break, the pod they tripped messing the Capitol up, most of the people getting recaptured, etc.
Warnings| Verging on nsfw, though it'll FTB before it gets too bad
The day Lyle and Brainiac 5 met wasn't a particularly significant day. Brainy been puttering around his new lab at Legion HQ and all but ignored Lyle and Cosmic Boy when they tried to introduce themselves. Subsequent meetings involved him giving Lyle the cold shoulder multiple times, Lyle mocking his superhero name because it was derived from a villain's name, and Brainy reluctantly giving the team advice over their comms to keep them from, you know, dying. (He'd been very annoyed the entire time since they'd been distracting him from an experiment.)
It wasn't until the day that Lyle had come into his lab to argue (again) about tactile engineering versus pure theory - the day that he'd noticed the Valorium floating around the lab that later became the flight rings - that Brainy had actually noticed him.
The last week had been a relative disaster. He'd done everything he could, everything that had been asked of him but it still had effectively amounted to nothing. He'd delivered the tech but people got caught anyway - had gotten killed anyway, even though it had apparently worked. The people who'd escaped had mostly gotten caught again and were possibly dead. The Rebels hadn't responded to any of his attempts to communicate with them, no doubt because they didn't leave any open ends when they're weren't actively reaching out. Oh, and he and Lyle had accidentally unleashed a lovely infestation of little mutant monsters on the city in their efforts to make the tech they'd disseminated to the Tributes, terrorizing and injuring Capitol civilians in the process.
Nothing had gone right, despite his best efforts. Nothing. Yet another person was dead despite everything he'd tried to do. He didn't know Orc but he didn't have to, to feel that he had failed him. Just as he hadn't had to know Sherlock Holmes well to feel that he'd failed him as well. He simply hadn't done enough fast enough. Maybe failure was just something he needed to get used to. After all, what was a few extra lives on top of the trillions lost when the Legion wasn't able to save their universe? Maybe the days of doing exactly the right things at exactly the right time were far, far behind him.
He couldn't deal with it right now. He didn't want to.
He needed at least one thing to go right and the only good thing that had come of this place was the thing he hoped wouldn't devolve into total catastrophe the most.
He didn't know what he was going to say as he walked into the District 10 Common Room, what he was going to do. How did he even start the conversation? What could he say or do that could convey what he wanted, what he felt, when he could barely even make sense of it? He'd never been good at understanding his feelings - when he even let himself feel them - let alone been good at putting them into words.
It was with a conflicted expression on his face that he approached the kitchen, where he saw a glimpse of Lyle. He remembered the conversation they'd had that day, the day he'd actually noticed Lyle - the age-old argument, the one they still kicked around every so often whenever they were bored. He'd never changed his answer, even after all these years, ostensibly just to annoy Lyle for fun.
Thinking back to that, to how their friendship had begun, gave him exactly what he needed.
Lyle was in the kitchen dismantling the microwave when Querl found him. He grabbed him by the arm to get his attention, whirled him around, then grabbed his shirt and pulled him in close - intimately close, given how rarely Brainy let people into his personal space.
"I promised you that we would talk," he said, looking him in his eyes. "I've been trying to think of what to say. You know how hopeless I am at anything involving sentiment. However, I think I've determined the right words to convey...everything."
He took in a deep breath and said the thing he'd refused to admit for over five years:
"Tactile engineering is superior to pure theory."
no subject
"Yeah?" he purred, gazing back into Brainy's eyes, trying to read the Coluan's mood. For a moment, he wasn't sure that this wasn't Brainy trying to communicate that they ought to find somewhere that they could talk without being overheard, but Brainy's expression and the tension under Lyle's hands seemed to indicate something a little more straight-forward.
Lyle's mouth curled into a smile as his hand slide around behind Brainy's back so that he could pull him in for a brief, chaste kiss.
"Whatever are we going to argue about now that you've admitted I'm right?" he asked playfully as he caressed Brainy's cheek with his thumb. Not just to be a nasshead, not entirely -- he knew how infrequently Brainy ever admitted to being wrong, understood what it meant for Brainy to concede and act with humility. At the same time, if Lyle had wanted concession and humility often in a romantic partner, rather than someone who'd bicker with him about ridiculous things for years on end, he wouldn't have fallen for Brainy in the first place. Rough spots and all.
no subject
The hand on his hip, the thumb brushing his cheek, the smile - oh, sweet muses, the smile. His chest ached and he felt slightly dizzy, and all his vaunted mental control could do nothing against the onslaught of sentiment and neurochemical reactions. There had been a time in his life that he never would have imagined himself dealing with this much emotion bubbling right up at the surface, a time that he wouldn't have imagined he was capable of this much depth of feeling.
That time had been a long, long time ago, though, and now he felt so much he didn't even know what to do with it.
He had no idea what to do from here, but they had to start somewhere, right? He tried to go with honesty, figuring that was the best tool in their arsenal to properly construct this relationship.
"I would very much like to go your room with you and have as cursory a discussion as we can about initiating a romantic relationship and establishing a code of agreed upon mutual behaviors -" ground rules "- to make sure we both have the same expectations. Provided that goes well, after that I'd like to engage in sexual relations, preferably for as long as we're both capable of consciousness. Does this sound agreeable to you?"
Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes -
no subject
Instead, he draws the fingertips of the hand he'd had on Brainy's face down his neck, across his shoulder, and down his arm until he can lace their fingers together.
"I've already built us a sprock shelter, actually," he said. Because he may have caused Brainy's first real make-out session to occur on a barroom floor, and Brainy's first time actually having sex with another sentient be in some god-forsaken reality where they had to pretend to be supervillains and had barely any privacy at all, but he wanted Brainy to know that he'd do everything in his power to make sure that this experience was as untouched by their current circumstances as he could make it.
no subject
Unlike Lyle, he actually did indulge in a laugh, one of his very rare bouts of giddy chuckling.
"Presumptive. Highly presumptive, but considerate, seeing as you know how much I value my privacy when it comes to more intimate matters." He started dragging Lyle by the hand. "Let's relocate to your room so I can inspect its structural integrity. Provided our talk goes well, it will need to be very durable to withstand the stresses of the physical activity going on within its confines."
no subject
"Well, you know what they say, 'the world belongs to those who get up early'."
He also had a music playlist he could set up once they'd had their discussion -- or at least the part of it they wanted to have for any surveillance. It might not be particularly romantic, but it would cover any noises that Lyle and Brainy wanted to jealously hoard for themselves.
no subject
Very sturdy. And it covered almost every possible angle that cameras could peek in while still having gaps for proper air supply. Lyle hadn't cut any corners, clearly.
Brainy could only smirk to himself as he looked it over.
"I know some would upset over the very explicit anticipation of sexual activity but I know what this is. You made it so if we worked everything out we could pretend we weren't engaging in intimacy here. In this place. It's a biome, an artificial world all our own."
The smirk turned to a smaller, touched smile as he turned around to face him.
"No one's ever demonstrated that much consideration for my -" He seemed to have trouble using the word "feelings" but he had no other word for it "-for my feelings before. The rest of the team has, to the degrees that friends do, but this is..."
This was candles and pleasant music and rose petals on the sheets. All of the things that romance was supposed to be, but specially adapted for his own wants and needs. He liked privacy. If he finally engaged in intimacy he wanted to be something kept private and safe and Lyle had thought about his feelings and anticipated that.
"I don't know what to do with this, Lyle." He made a futile gesture to his chest, as if trying to show that something huge was being contained there and that it was almost bursting out. He almost sounded annoyed as he said, "Just look at me. I'm gesturing to my chest when referring to sentiment even though the brain is responsible for emotion, that's what you've reduced me too. I need to know you understand what that means before we move forward."
He was trembling slightly.
"Because I am equal parts terrified and exhilarated and that is completely overwhelming."
no subject
He stepped forward when Brainy turned to him, capturing the Coluan's hands briefly to give them a reassuring squeeze before letting them go again.
"I do understand," he said. "The first time we were in a room together, you flat-out ignored me, and now here we are. I know you're inclined to look to me for answers--" Okay, it was a serious situation, but Lyle couldn't resist the joke. "--But the only one I've got for you right now is that I'm happy to let you work things out at your own speed. There's no where I'd rather be than with you, so I just need you to be willing to communicate with me. Even when it seems silly and sentimental, like subconsciously assigning the results of neuro-chemicals to a muscle in your chest."
He smiles, hoping that Brainy will take it as reassuring rather than mocking. "It's okay."
no subject
"It's not going to be easy," he said slowly. The corner of his mouth curved slightly with self-mocking mirth. "Quite frankly, I have more baggage than a Lallorian cruise ship fleet."
He looked up at him with a furtive glance.
"But then I've never seen you back away from a challenge."
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"Don't sell yourself short, either," he said, steepling his fingers for a lack of any where better to put his hands. "You may have a lot of baggage, but I've seen you sort through a lot of it since the day you blatantly ignored me when Brande tried to introduce us."
no subject
He'd managed to change the things that hurt others around him, too, the scathing remarks, the coldness, the ridiculous levels of arrogance.
Okay, so maybe that last one had hardly changed but at the very least he'd reined it in enough that it tended to show when it was most warranted. All of this wallowing in his old flaws for the sake of his little song and dance for the other Tributes and the Capitol only highlighted how much genuine humility he'd managed to gain over the years. Whenever he acted out now, he felt like he was pretending to be a recalcitrant child, when behavior like that would have been genuine in the past.
Although he couldn't take all the credit. Dr. Ryk'rr had done her fair share and he wouldn't have managed it without her infinite patience. How she'd managed to deal with so many conversations about emotion that had devolved into almost ouroboross-like circular non-logic was still a mystery to him.
"That's a very polite way of saying I've become less of an insufferable nasshead, but I'll admit that it's something I'm proud of. I can't lay claim to being a good person - none of us can." Just a little bit of misdirection for anyone listening in. "I'm proud of it at least where you and the others are concerned. I was functionally incapable of having friends back in the beginning. It's a strange thing to be proud of - a base level of vaguely stable emotion and social behavior - but when you factor in how I used to be..."
Maybe he was ready for this. Maybe it could actually work out if he applied everything he'd learned so far about dealing with his emotional problems and with interpersonal communication.
"I think -" He took a deep breath and lifted his chin, as if admitting he was ready for a relationship was an act of daring. "I think I may have the social skills to adequately cope with any interpersonal conflict we might have. The only hurdle I see is that if I have difficulty functioning due to the external stress of our situation, I may need to ask you if we can put our relationship on hold. Not because I don't want it but because greater intimacy and emotional involvement could make the trauma of seeing horrible things happen to you too difficult to endure. I don't know if I'll ever need to emotionally withdraw to survive until we find ourselves in a better position, but if I ever do, I'd want to resume the relationship eventually. If possible."
That was his way of saying that at some point, if they got too emotionally battered, work might have to come first. Remaining professional despite dating was something they could have easily managed back on the ship with the others, but this wasn't exactly a conventional situation they'd found themselves in. It was far more severe than many they'd faced. He knew there might come a time that he had to shut out his personal feelings so that he wouldn't become so traumatized by violence to Lyle that he couldn't function. It was already difficult watching it happen to each other just as friends.
no subject
His smirk turned self-depreciating before smoothing out into a more neutral expression. "I'll make an effort to communicate less obliquely, to avoid any miscommunications like we had that night we went out drinking. Your life has been different than mine, it wasn't fair of me to expect you to know what I was dancing around saying."
He raised his hand to rub his thumb along his lower lip. "I'm agreeable to putting our relationship on hold in the face of outside stressors. If that were to happen, do you think you'd be able to pretend to continue the relationship in public? After our, ah, rather dramatic co-revelation in the last Arena, it may be something our stylists and escorts want to play up as part of our celebrity identities. Not to say that it's a sure thing, we may also be able to work the break-up-and-make-up angle, but I wouldn't want you to be surprised by it."
no subject
Not when he'd never been in an actual romantic relationship before.
"Provided you're amenable to that, unless you have your own concerns or requirements, I only have one other topic we should discuss and it should probably wait until we're almost finished our conversation given the nature of the topic. I feel that any discussion about physical intimacy should possibly be the last subject we touch on."
He knew enough about sex to know at the very least that talk about sex might easily turn into sex.
no subject
And, since he was the one with actual experience in this area, he forged on ahead.
"First of all, I want you to know that I am not going to judge or laugh at anything you say here, though I won't be offended if you need to do so yourself. I'm willing to discuss this in whatever manner is most comfortable for you, be it listing things I'm into or not into, asking you what interests you, or listening attentively while you talk. All right?"
no subject
"There may be times when I get overstimulated and need a break from our activities to center myself or to cease for the night and reconvene the following day perhaps. That shouldn't be that much of an issue. I doubt it will happen often but you need to be aware."
He knew he was possibly going to get occasionally emotionally overwhelmed but their drunken romp, while a source of incredible confusion, had proven that being touched by Lyle wasn't only tolerable but pleasurable. It wasn't something he thought would be that much of an issue.
He wasn't a "touchy-feely" person but he'd come to find it mostly enjoyable to be touched and hugged by his friends, even more so from Lyle.
So that meant the main issue was something else.
"My primary concern is that I -" He had to pause. "The general lack of experience could be...problematic. Obviously, I've got excellent dexterity so I know that will compensate quite a bit but the combination of inexperience and, ah -"
He took in a deep breath and exhaled.
"There is a natural increase of sexual desire when most mammalian species reach puberty, sometimes leading even to temporary bouts of being fixated on sex." He spoke about it in a very clinical fashion, as if that wasn't something he'd experienced. "For me, that has always been...well. That has been something I've carefully repressed, but over the years I came to accept most of my emotions and allow myself to feel such things, and I, ah -"
He paused.
"How to say this..." He nodded to himself abruptly, making a decision. "Lyle, I'm going to be what Connie often calls a 'hot mess.' Imagine, if you will, that my mind somehow miraculously had multiple tracks of consciousness. Whenever I focus my attention on sexual desire, it would be as if every single one of them was simultaneously fixating on it, working tirelessly to find some way to bring it to...fulfillment." Ha, he worked it in without really giving away that he actually had simultaneous thought tracks. "That, coupled with the inexperience, is most likely going to lead to some exceedingly awkward and possibly even humorous situations. I also may be prone to - to wanting to, ah, engage in wild experimentation. I just feel that it's something I should warn you about as I'll most likely need instruction and communication."
'Warn.' As if it was a bad thing.
no subject
Lyle had considered such a thing as Brainy was couching in hypothetical terms for the sake of his cover. He had, in fact, given it a great deal of consideration when he'd gone to the bathroom to take care of the results of their make-out session. And then the words engage in wild experimentation came out of Brainy's mouth, and suddenly the room was rather too brightly lit and the reassurances Lyle had been preparing were replaced with a faint buzzing sound that might be some of Lyle's synapses frying.
"Um." Lyle squeezed his eyes shut, opened them, and then winked each closed individually. "Sorry, I was imagining that situation you were describing, and then you said 'wild experimentation', and I'm going to need a moment or two to collect myself so that I can continue contributing coherently to this conversation instead of just drooling on myself."
no subject
"Or," he said, in the tone he usually used to offer an alternate plan to save the day, "you could forgo collecting anything, come over and sit with me here on your bed, and proceed with initiating the process of becoming...disarrayed."
His face took on a guileless 'oh woe is me, I know not the matters of sexy things' expression that was actually a coquettish one in a very cheap disguise. "Though I'm not certain that's the appropriate terminology. Disheveled? Tousled?" A brief and very calculating pause. He locked eyes with Lyle. "Disrobed?"
no subject
"Invitation enthusiastically accepted," he purred when they broke apart. "What are the limits you don't want me to push tonight? Or ever?"
no subject
"Nothing that I can think of yet," Brainy said after they'd pulled apart.
He didn't really have enough experience to know what he liked or what he was interested in. "Nothing extreme to start with, that's all. I can always communicate that something's making me uncomfortable in the middle of it. That's usually how it works, isn't it?"
It was a strange thing to be unsure about.
no subject
Lyle paused, frowning faintly.
"...You did get that talk, right?"
no subject
He tried to downplay it as best as he could.
"I had a base level of education on the subject, most of it geared towards teaching me how to not be responsible for unwanted advances. It was a simple extrapolation to understand that I had the same rights."
His tone was very dodgy.
no subject
Good thing he'd asked. True, it was actually literally impossible for him to punch the people responsible anymore, but he was glad he'd asked.
Brainy had never really talked deeply about his childhood with the rest of the team. He wasn't the only one, and he and Lyle weren't the only two, so it hadn't been something Lyle had thought was unusual. They'd all learned about his mother when she'd tried to kill him, but that had been something that had been 'Legion business' as much as 'Brainy's past'.
Lyle was hardly stupid though, he could read between the lines of Brainy's answer easily enough. Brainy might have been embarrassed earlier by the way he'd gestured to his chest when talking about feelings, but thinking about what Brainy's childhood must have been like that he was never outright told that it was okay for him to say 'no' triggered a chemical cascade in Lyle's brain that did make his chest ache.
At least Brainy seemed to know that his 'care'takers had been wrong to have made him extrapolate that he had those rights. That was good.
The fingers he'd been tracing up and down Brainy's arm trailed all the way down so that Lyle could interlace them with Brainy's fingers.
"Well then," he said, trying not to make Brainy more uncomfortable than he clearly already was, "I'll just reiterate it: you can say 'no' to anything, and I'll respect it. No whining, wheedling, or complaining."
no subject
The way Lyle's breath caught so that he had to breathe deep breaths to stay calm, the outrage and concern on his face, barely hidden, the obvious love in his eyes, that was what triggered a chain reaction. Particles colliding off of particles, splitting, multiplying, releasing energy. Every single one of his multiple tracks of consciousness focused on a fulfilling a single biological need.
He let go of Lyle's hand and practically threw himself at him, half crawling into his lap, mouth colliding with his.
In between kisses, he managed to get out a few curt words, breath hot against Lyle's lips as he said them, "Clothes." Kiss. "Off." Kiss. "Now."
no subject
"Okay." Kiss. "Yes." Kiss. "Wait! Tent!"
Because he'd made the tent for exactly this purpose. He fumbled for the entrance flap, rolling his hips up to try and...he'd had a reason and it had made sense, but he'd rolled his hips up against Brainy and lost track of it for a moment.
"Tent," he explained helpfully. "I'm gonna turn on the mood music."
Extra privacy. He wanted to cover all the angles.
no subject
no subject
All right, Norg. Go time.
Lyle fluffed his hair and heading for the tent.
no subject
Brainy was already down to his boxer briefs inside, and quickly started to divest Lyle of the rest of his clothing, starting with the silly headband.
"Finally," he said, holding it up. "Do you know how long I've wanted to rip this silly thing off your head under these very specific circumstances?"
no subject
He'd be discovering more places Brainy liked to be touched over the course of the night, but it was good to have places to start.
"Hang on, let me get my shoes off before you go after my pants."
no subject
Soon Lyle's shoes were off and then - with Brainy's assistance - so were Lyle's pants. Then they had a chance to face each other, nearly naked, in the half-light of the tent.
"I've wanted to -" His voice faltered slightly from nervousness. "I've wanted to touch your brain."
Lyle wanted to hear more about the things Brainy wanted to do to him, right? He moved in close, hand against Lyle's chest, brushing his cheek and his nose against Lyle's cheek in a gentle nuzzle.
"When we touch, it sends nerve impulses cascading from the nerves of our skin to the synapses of our brains. For just a few fleeting moments, those impulses connect my mind to yours and yours to mine. I've wanted to inspire that cascade, Lyle. For a time even longer than I was even willing to admit to myself," he said, voice hushed. "I've wanted that connection."
A pause.
"I've wanted it to match our other connection, our bond. Physical running alongside the metaphysical."
no subject
Brainy hadn't actually died, but Lyle had carried his last words to the Coluan for a full year, a fresh laceration next to the scar from Jacques' death. He'd poked it and prodded it and examined the feeling from all angles, trying to determine how much it was going to haunt him. He'd finally made his peace with it just before all but three of the Lost Legionnaires came crashing back to Earth, Brainy among them; and Lyle had been able to meet him with dry eyes, a smile and a clap on the shoulder.
Now Brainy sat before him, more naked physically and emotionally that Lyle had ever seen him; and all Lyle could think was how sprocking lucky he was that not only was he the sentient that Brainy chose to be vulnerable for, but that Brainy was around to be choose to be vulnerable at all. Lyle had ideas, plans, but they'd all been overwhelmed by that one thought.
He shivered as Brainy moved in close, skin prickling with awe at this opportunity he was being presented with. His eyes drifted closed as Brainy spoke, carefully attuning himself to his words. He raised his hands to cup Brainy's jaw, thumbing a pulse point with one hand as he turned Brainy's head to press a kiss to his mouth.
"All right." He'd only pulled back enough to speak, releasing the words into the bare millimeters between their mouths. "Let's see what we can do about that."
no subject
Brainy's unfamiliarity with it all didn't hold out long anyway. As in all things, he was a very quick study. He particularly liked kissing. The control involved, the challenge of trying to evoke as much of a response as possible with much fewer nerve endings to work with than...other parts of the body was exactly the kind of puzzle he loved to solve. Making something significant out of something small.
Most of all, he liked the normalcy of it. As soon as he'd joined the Legion, started spending time around people his own age, he'd taken romantic and sexual interest in others. He'd pretended to not be swayed by emotion at all, but that was a lie he told everyone else. More than anything it was a lie he'd fooled himself with, hence his interest in Andromeda and Supergirl. And in Spark. And in Lyle.
He was a Brainiac, and no Brainiac would ever be a slave to pointless sentimental fondness or emotion or physical desires - and yet he'd always been, because he'd been a teenage boy, too. Looking back on it, it was almost laughable how much he'd tried to hold himself above it all when he'd always had a track of consciousness or two buzzing in the background, fantasizing, wondering, trying to stir up the idea of the sensations he wanted to feel without having anything to compare to.
His imaginings hadn't even come close, he now realized, but that wasn't surprising. How could he have imagined this kind of pleasure back when he'd never even experienced basic happiness?
But he was a different person now than he'd been back then and that meant throwing aside every stupid idea he'd held onto. He was allowed to want sex. He was allowed to be wanton. He was allowed to be a cerebral person that still wanted to experience things of a physical nature every now and again.
He wasn't some sexless machine devoid of all emotion or desire that people could insert problems into and have solutions fall out. He never had been and it was about time his self-concept caught up with the reality. Terrifying prospect though that was, he knew he could trust Lyle to keep the most delicate parts of his psyche, the ones that would be exposed by it, safe.
In the end, he was right to trust him because he loved it.
Even as most of his tracks of consciousness were focused on the enjoyable activities presently happening, two or three starting chugging away in a fevered frenzy, starting to plan for the future. A whole world of experimentation had suddenly opened up. He would need various aids in causing pleasure - blindfolds? Restraints? Yes, restraints - and possibly a tape recorder to utilize to record the various sounds Lyle was capable of making.
And charts. He was going to need so many charts.
That line of thought thrummed its way towards the future while the others focused mainly on an endless litany of "oh yes please."
Then there was a single moment - one that had repeated throughout the night in various iterations - where he didn't think anything at all. That moment of pure mental glaciation happened once again and just like before, there was the resulting crystalline shattering that came after, where conscious thought slowly returned.
As soon as he was able to think and breathe at the same time, he tugged lightly on Lyle's hair to prompt him to move up his body and kiss him once more.