That seemed to strike a nerve with him, and his face went white for just a moment. He'd done his damnedest to forget that horrible broadcast and it's unflattering (and exaggerated) depiction of their lives. There was nothing of value to be found there. Nothing comforting either.

"You say I am a human now, but I sometimes think that I am a monster." He reached up to adjust his hat, elegant and seemingly unaffected by the hollowness of his words. "I still cannot understand why I killed those people, Combeferre. There was nothing in it for me. I had no desire to win, and yet I still played their game."