He did not protest, though it took a moment or so before he allowed himself to relax against Joly. Perhaps there was something it what Joly was saying. Had he really lost Max and Cindy because he could not be with them physically? Or was it more accurate to say that they would be with him always, kept safely in his heart and memories? Gradually, he suspected he might come to believe the latter.

"You are the doctor," he said, grabbing at Joly's arm, holding on to him loosely. "If my diagnosis calls for an outdoor adventure, then I feel I must comply."

But he made no move just then. He decided that he'd rather stay like that a moment, so that he could appreciate the kindness of his friend. So that he could appreciate the existence of him. Courfeyrac was afraid he might, in an act of thoughtlessness, take Joly for granted. Sometimes he managed to forget that if not for the Capitol, they would be dead again, and he would never see his dear brothers again.

"How selfish I've been. You are all far too tolerant of me, you realize."