The lump of emotion in his throat is so large and constricting that Steve feels he can't breathe past it, let alone speak, but he swallows a few times and attempts it.
"No, they-" he licks his lips to try and fight the dry feeling in his mouth, "-they don't. This is a game show, one where they throw us into the ring and fight to the death for-" Steve shakes his head, his mouth getting ahead of him now. "They want us to remember, this isn't about being wiped and starting clean. Breaking us with the memories of what we do to survive, to not starve, the killing, the being killed, it's half the appeal for the audience," his words show how much he disagrees with it, how much he doesn't like it, but Steve is a master strategist, so he can see their reasons clearly.
Steve turns to look at Bucky, none of the distaste for the Capitol directed at him in any way. He can't bring himself to blame Bucky for the programming Hydra forced on him. "You don't have to do what you're instructed anymore, your decisions are yours now. They told me to fight my fellow tributes and kill them, but I helped people, that's what I decided."
Now Bucky is free to decide for himself. Steve still plans to give him a no kill list, but he can't bring himself to order the man not to kill at all. This is one of the few freedoms they have and he wants Bucky to have it.
no subject
"No, they-" he licks his lips to try and fight the dry feeling in his mouth, "-they don't. This is a game show, one where they throw us into the ring and fight to the death for-" Steve shakes his head, his mouth getting ahead of him now. "They want us to remember, this isn't about being wiped and starting clean. Breaking us with the memories of what we do to survive, to not starve, the killing, the being killed, it's half the appeal for the audience," his words show how much he disagrees with it, how much he doesn't like it, but Steve is a master strategist, so he can see their reasons clearly.
Steve turns to look at Bucky, none of the distaste for the Capitol directed at him in any way. He can't bring himself to blame Bucky for the programming Hydra forced on him. "You don't have to do what you're instructed anymore, your decisions are yours now. They told me to fight my fellow tributes and kill them, but I helped people, that's what I decided."
Now Bucky is free to decide for himself. Steve still plans to give him a no kill list, but he can't bring himself to order the man not to kill at all. This is one of the few freedoms they have and he wants Bucky to have it.