Well, maybe you should have thought of that, Carlos, before you--
--No. That was unfair. Cecil had grown up in a world where most of his life was monitored. Keeping his relationships as public as possible was, in some ways, an unconscious reaction to it - the lines between a public and a private romance were much, much blurrier for him than they were for Carlos.
No, this bothered him more because it smacked of a conversation they'd had weeks ago, in Cecil's living room, on the evening he'd gotten his last-ever bid. This wasn't the same situation - not by a long shot - but thinking of what a false relationship would entail (what had just happened would not, could not be their last kiss, for one), Cecil found that it had a similar aftertaste.
"...I have told you before, Carlos, that I would never ask anything of you with the expectation that you would be unable to refuse me." He was looking at Carlos just to fill his field of vision with something - it made it easier not to picture what the next few weeks were very likely going to look like, should they decide to go through with this. "And it is for that reason that I ask you now: Would you be able to keep up a relationship in private?" I am not the problem here, was what he did not say.
He let the silence sit a second. ...Just a second. "If not," he couldn't help adding, "Then we will have to find a different and equally convincing way to persuade the Capitol either that your insincerity was in no way self-serving, or that my extremely public affection for you this past half-year has been completely meaningless. So."
no subject
--No. That was unfair. Cecil had grown up in a world where most of his life was monitored. Keeping his relationships as public as possible was, in some ways, an unconscious reaction to it - the lines between a public and a private romance were much, much blurrier for him than they were for Carlos.
No, this bothered him more because it smacked of a conversation they'd had weeks ago, in Cecil's living room, on the evening he'd gotten his last-ever bid. This wasn't the same situation - not by a long shot - but thinking of what a false relationship would entail (what had just happened would not, could not be their last kiss, for one), Cecil found that it had a similar aftertaste.
"...I have told you before, Carlos, that I would never ask anything of you with the expectation that you would be unable to refuse me." He was looking at Carlos just to fill his field of vision with something - it made it easier not to picture what the next few weeks were very likely going to look like, should they decide to go through with this. "And it is for that reason that I ask you now: Would you be able to keep up a relationship in private?" I am not the problem here, was what he did not say.
He let the silence sit a second. ...Just a second. "If not," he couldn't help adding, "Then we will have to find a different and equally convincing way to persuade the Capitol either that your insincerity was in no way self-serving, or that my extremely public affection for you this past half-year has been completely meaningless. So."