"Well, that's good because I am very, very taken in that department. I have room -" He tapped his chest "- for other people but not in that way. That space is all filled up by Eep and I don't really want anyone else. And while I can see how things might work with a guy, ah, in certain areas, it doesn't really appeal."
He said it without judgment. He'd never really come across people that that were mates with the same sex but just because he hadn't seen it didn't mean it wasn't there and he didn't really see anything strange about it. It just wasn't for him.
"So it's like really, really deep friends?" he asked. That was a little clearer to him. "Not something less or more than mates? Just different?"
If it was that, he understood.
"Because if it's like that, I know some of the people here might not understand it but I'm different from some of the people the people here. We care about each other differently back home. Every person is a part of a bigger whole and the ties between people are really strong. I was lucky that after I was alone I found Belt. And I was lucky to find my new family. A lot of people, I don't think they could make it on their own. Sometimes I don't know how I managed so well."
A natural resilience perhaps, but if he hadn't met Belt, maybe he wouldn't have done so well.
"Family is deeper and friends are deeper and with a mate - for me and Eep at least - it's almost like when we found each other, that we found a part of ourselves we'd never realized was missing. So I already feel things really deep on my side and I'm not sure my friends here feel it the same back. They definitely care but I kinda think I'm a little more...gone, there and I try to just keep it down a bit. And we do more of the hugs and being touched anyway; that's what's normal for us back home. So, if you have a word for it, we can use that, but I kinda felt like it was something like that already - I just don't have words for some things. And I don't think Eep would mind since it's the not the same thing I feel for her."
Not less, not more, just different. Like love for a father was different. Like how he cared about Belt was different.
And he wanted to be held. He wanted to be hugged. He liked it when it was open and allowed to run free. He liked feeling things in the moment.
He wanted more moments in this place that weren't all hurt and sadness. He had a feeling he'd need that now more than ever and he wanted to be able to give those moments back, too.
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He said it without judgment. He'd never really come across people that that were mates with the same sex but just because he hadn't seen it didn't mean it wasn't there and he didn't really see anything strange about it. It just wasn't for him.
"So it's like really, really deep friends?" he asked. That was a little clearer to him. "Not something less or more than mates? Just different?"
If it was that, he understood.
"Because if it's like that, I know some of the people here might not understand it but I'm different from some of the people the people here. We care about each other differently back home. Every person is a part of a bigger whole and the ties between people are really strong. I was lucky that after I was alone I found Belt. And I was lucky to find my new family. A lot of people, I don't think they could make it on their own. Sometimes I don't know how I managed so well."
A natural resilience perhaps, but if he hadn't met Belt, maybe he wouldn't have done so well.
"Family is deeper and friends are deeper and with a mate - for me and Eep at least - it's almost like when we found each other, that we found a part of ourselves we'd never realized was missing. So I already feel things really deep on my side and I'm not sure my friends here feel it the same back. They definitely care but I kinda think I'm a little more...gone, there and I try to just keep it down a bit. And we do more of the hugs and being touched anyway; that's what's normal for us back home. So, if you have a word for it, we can use that, but I kinda felt like it was something like that already - I just don't have words for some things. And I don't think Eep would mind since it's the not the same thing I feel for her."
Not less, not more, just different. Like love for a father was different. Like how he cared about Belt was different.
And he wanted to be held. He wanted to be hugged. He liked it when it was open and allowed to run free. He liked feeling things in the moment.
He wanted more moments in this place that weren't all hurt and sadness. He had a feeling he'd need that now more than ever and he wanted to be able to give those moments back, too.