"Watch some TV, when you get a chance, they've been runnin' tribute exposes lately. They're twistin' the truth to suit their own ends, but all the footage is real - even from places that no one should be able to get footage of, like 1800s France. I'm sure they've got some of my world, too, even though we haven't had workin' cameras for goin' on two decades."

He starts plating up flapjacks, completely nonchalant. "You wanna know how, you're askin' the wrong guy."