She closes her eyes at the touch of that kiss. It's something she's badly needed, more than she ever even realized. "You're still my dinh, Roland, tet or no tet. I'd cry your pardon anyway." She's shaking a little. She hadn't expected that.

"I'm glad, glad you understand. I don't-- I have to do something, Roland, I can't just refuse to act an' then pat myself on the back for making the moral choice while I wait for someone else to kill me. There's killin' or there's suicide an' if I kill I can at least try to make it that they die fast an' clean an' that's better than a slow death of poison or drownin' in tar."

She should have refused the money, like she did when she'd accidentally shot Eddie in on the dino island, but she'd wanted legs so bad, had watched Maximus walking his metal leg with a deep, clear envy that had startled her in its ferocity.