wantwhatiwant (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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thecapitol2013-12-03 12:58 pm
wantwhatiwant) wrote in thecapitol2013-12-03 12:58 pm
Entry tags:
Out tonight
Who| Ian and open
What| Partying. And by partying we mean coming down off his two week binge of trying to forget the arena
Where| Bars, clubs, the streets of Panem
When| Current, at night/early morning
Warnings/Notes| Underage? drinking (not sure on the drinking age of Panem), drugs, breakdowns
He had told himself he was fine. He had died, woke up, got a shower and went out. Breezy pausing only to check the death toll. Blaine and Kurt had survived, they must have escaped. Well at least his dead hadn't been completely in vain. His escort had even congratulated him for fighting back, like they had expected him to just lie down and die. He had smiled and headed to a bar. He had just died, he figured he deserved a drink.
One drink had led to another, and one club had led to another, he had veered off from the main clubs by the tribute tower and had found a few ones that played decent music. Nothing he knew of course, but heavy and angry, matching his mood.
That had been two weeks ago, he had slept at times. Either back in the tower or wherever he found himself. Not always alone. Being alone was painful, as was being sober or not being high. He had all the money he wanted and so he spent it on forgetting.
Somewhere deep down he knew he was acting like Frank and it sickened him, a burning hatred that reared up whenever he was sober enough to think. Though he had always drank, and smoked shit it was never serious, just mucking about with Mandy or Lip. He had wanted to be an Officer, or if he couldn't be, his GPA was not the best, join the army and work his way up. It had kept him focused, kept him training, kept him out of the worst of trouble.
He didn't have that anymore, or more he had it in a twisted nightmare form. An eternal soldier, unable to die, not fighting for any cause just for entertainment. Killed and revived on the sick whims of a crazy futuristic society. It wasn't going to change, and they weren't going to escape, shit like that didn't happen. The Capitol had no reason to change, this worked for them. So what was the fucking point of trying anymore? So he had stopped trying, stopped thinking and everything had become so much easier.
Tonight was a night like the nights before, he moved from club to club, going with the crowds. Not knowing where he was, not caring. Escaping from his own head, because everything was shit and finding a way to make it not shit would involve far too much thinking.
What| Partying. And by partying we mean coming down off his two week binge of trying to forget the arena
Where| Bars, clubs, the streets of Panem
When| Current, at night/early morning
Warnings/Notes| Underage? drinking (not sure on the drinking age of Panem), drugs, breakdowns
He had told himself he was fine. He had died, woke up, got a shower and went out. Breezy pausing only to check the death toll. Blaine and Kurt had survived, they must have escaped. Well at least his dead hadn't been completely in vain. His escort had even congratulated him for fighting back, like they had expected him to just lie down and die. He had smiled and headed to a bar. He had just died, he figured he deserved a drink.
One drink had led to another, and one club had led to another, he had veered off from the main clubs by the tribute tower and had found a few ones that played decent music. Nothing he knew of course, but heavy and angry, matching his mood.
That had been two weeks ago, he had slept at times. Either back in the tower or wherever he found himself. Not always alone. Being alone was painful, as was being sober or not being high. He had all the money he wanted and so he spent it on forgetting.
Somewhere deep down he knew he was acting like Frank and it sickened him, a burning hatred that reared up whenever he was sober enough to think. Though he had always drank, and smoked shit it was never serious, just mucking about with Mandy or Lip. He had wanted to be an Officer, or if he couldn't be, his GPA was not the best, join the army and work his way up. It had kept him focused, kept him training, kept him out of the worst of trouble.
He didn't have that anymore, or more he had it in a twisted nightmare form. An eternal soldier, unable to die, not fighting for any cause just for entertainment. Killed and revived on the sick whims of a crazy futuristic society. It wasn't going to change, and they weren't going to escape, shit like that didn't happen. The Capitol had no reason to change, this worked for them. So what was the fucking point of trying anymore? So he had stopped trying, stopped thinking and everything had become so much easier.
Tonight was a night like the nights before, he moved from club to club, going with the crowds. Not knowing where he was, not caring. Escaping from his own head, because everything was shit and finding a way to make it not shit would involve far too much thinking.
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