Looking for Love [OPEN]

[shambler]

Who| R [OPEN]
What| R takes it upon himself to ask for dating advice from whoever he bumps into (sometimes literally). This can be from advice to how to be the most romantic Romeo ever to the downright awful. To make intros easier, we can handwave R introducing himself and assume he’s already corraled them into this if you like.
Where|| Around the Training Center, the Tribute Tower, and the Speakeasy. Possibly the park.
When| | Before the Victor Crowning
Warnings/Notes|| Nothing so far.

R’s on a mission to acquire intel for How to Date; Revised for Zombies.

Oh, and for scrawny little guys like Howard. Although if you asked him, personally R believes Howard’s already got one step in the door just because he’s got a working heart. Don’t tell Howard he thought that.

The point is R’s motivated. It’s almost unicorn rare to know what he wants and how to get it. Motivation doesn’t come easy to zombies, R feeling the strain raking its claws across his brain folds as he takes his first stumbling step into today. His Escort turns to stare while she primps her hair, surprised that he’s going out on his own instead of having to be herded. He even remembers to groan something about “…prac-tice…for…Games”, just like the Helmsman coached him to, and R almost thinks that’s a mistake when his Escort’s face lights up. He made her day. She almost looks like she wants to drop everything, come along as if she knows how to tie nooses any better than he does. Luckily she settles for waving him good luck, so pleased she’d radiate sunshine if she could.

He lurches off before she changes her mind.

R’s mission is a multi-stage attack:

1). Find someone, anyone with a pulse.
2). Grill them on romance.
3). Hoard the advice.
4). …He’s still working on the next step. R’s lucky he got this far, to be totally honest.

For now R roams, a tall swaying zombie with a muzzle and a bad habit bumping his way into friends and strangers and wrangling them into his quest.

Comments

[tis_allgood]

Bert was too restless to train, and not having much better luck occupying his wandering mind in the lounge. Between watching footage of the last arena and snippets of information on other tributes he was starting to feel far too immersed in the Capitol. Which was why he was more than happy to stop and talk to someone he knew and liked like R. It would be a good distraction for both of them.

"Arre! Have you mastered the hat trick yet? I know you've been practicing."

[shambler]

R turned toward Bert's voice, concerned here that he'll pull out more magic tricks and he'll forget why he came out here looking for the human. The zombie shakes his head at the question as he slows his shuffling and starts to u-turn back toward Bert. It's about as fun as watching paint dry, long enough for his Escort's perfume to start wafting over in waves.

"Still...no good. On...hold," R takes so long getting his words out and putting one foot in front of the other that he's almost done speaking by the time he rolls up to Bert. Bert looks good, as usual. (R tries to make sure there's no more hats he'll surprise him with; can't be too careful around this guy). "Could I...ask for...advice?"

[tis_allgood]

Cuthbert was patient while he came back, not wanting to insult R's ability to do things for himself. He had nothing better to do today anyway, and he had a feeling it would be worth the wait.

Lucky for R, Bert left the hat behind today, although he had been given a set of troll horns from his stylist that looked a little silly on his head. Hopefully R had seen enough of those around to not be distracted by them.

"Certainly, I will help in any way I can!"

[shambler]

Luckily R has plenty of time to ogle the horns as he approaches, although it takes him a long couple of seconds to realize Bert didn't start growing horns o him and they're fake. In his defense, the way people like his stylists talk, it's not totally impossible. R gets all his staring in by the time he arrives.

"Qhhgkl...ques-tions," R's got a battle plan and it's falling to pieces because what he rehearsed in his head is unraveling between his brain and his mouth. The zombie dogs on, determined to get this out. "I want to...date. Need...advice."

Whew, finally got that out there. Jesus, he needs to work on his delivery. R had wanted to come across a lot more Joe Cool, King of Smooth in front of Bert, not some stuttering dead guy.

[tis_allgood]

"Then you have come to the right man, so you have! Before I came to this place I had the attention of more ladies than I could count on both hand and one foot. I could tell you much of wooing and winning the fairest sex."

Unfortunately, Cuthbert was about the last person anyone should ask for dating advice. Despite what he said, he wasn't particularly experienced or skilled in it and his ideas will be old fashioned at best. Which wasn't going to stop him from sharing them anyway.

"Is there a lucky lady occupying your mind and heart? I will make no mention of other places just now, not the time or place for that sort of foolishness. We can speak of that foolishness later."

[shambler]

And unfortunately R's the kind of zombie to consider any and all advice worth a shot. Between Bert's old-school attitude and R's Dead gullibility, it's like a perfect recipe for disaster. Yikes.

He tries to look alive and attentive, leaning forward unconsciously toward Bert. Wooing sounds like exactly what he wants to do! How'd he get so lucky? R decides today is off to a great start, so focused that he's barely even swaying.

"Julie. She's...friend. I...think. Not...sure," R admits. "But...want to show...how spesh...special she is." (For R, that's a regular speech right there, the zombie usually not that long-winded).

Unlike Bert, R has pretty much no memory of what to do with girls, just vague impressions that he can't tell if they're memories or snapshots of movies and TV he might've seen. Books he might've read a long time ago. They're all blurred together into this gray, murky soup in his head and he's totally reliant on Bert to tell him what's what.

[tis_allgood]

This could only end badly, unfortunately, but Bert wasn't about to let that stop him.

"All girls want to feel special, which is both a challenge and a boon for you, my friend. Bring her something no one else could bring her, a gift that only you could find. It matters little if she does not want what you get her, what matters is that you will be able to show your own worth to her."

Cuthbert wrapped an arm around R and gestured to the capitol around them.

"If all else fails, you can bring her out here into the majesty of this massive city and make your move on her when she least expects it. 'Tis harder to say no when all eyes are on you expecting to hear a yes, aye?"

[shambler]

At first this didn't seem so bad. Find stuff. Bring a gift. R thought even he could do that. It's a literal no-brainer...except for the part where Burt was throwing in all this extra stuff and suddenly R didn't think he had a handle on this anymore. The zombie's shoulders were stiffed to the touch as his head slumped to the side, giving him a better angle to stare at Bert. Friend? Partner in crime? What did he call him, anyway? The Guy with the Magic Hat?

"But..." R struggled with the concepts here, a frown finding its way onto his face. "If she...doesn't want it...it's...not good?"

Yeah, he wasn't following Bert's logic all the way here. Wouldn't it make sense to give Julie something she'd actually want? Plus it was easier on both of them, because R took almost a human's lifetime when he went out on errands. It was an efficiency thing too.

"Should I...propose?" R assumed that was what Bert meant with the "yes". Look, romance and love and marriage were a lot more slam-bam between zombies (who knew?) but R remembered just enough of life before that he thought that might be too fast for someone like Julie.

Still, Bert was more of an expert on this thing than he was. He was the human here, had a shiny pulse and everything. R decided he better trust his judgment for now.