Looking for Love [OPEN]

[shambler]

Who| R [OPEN]
What| R takes it upon himself to ask for dating advice from whoever he bumps into (sometimes literally). This can be from advice to how to be the most romantic Romeo ever to the downright awful. To make intros easier, we can handwave R introducing himself and assume he’s already corraled them into this if you like.
Where|| Around the Training Center, the Tribute Tower, and the Speakeasy. Possibly the park.
When| | Before the Victor Crowning
Warnings/Notes|| Nothing so far.

R’s on a mission to acquire intel for How to Date; Revised for Zombies.

Oh, and for scrawny little guys like Howard. Although if you asked him, personally R believes Howard’s already got one step in the door just because he’s got a working heart. Don’t tell Howard he thought that.

The point is R’s motivated. It’s almost unicorn rare to know what he wants and how to get it. Motivation doesn’t come easy to zombies, R feeling the strain raking its claws across his brain folds as he takes his first stumbling step into today. His Escort turns to stare while she primps her hair, surprised that he’s going out on his own instead of having to be herded. He even remembers to groan something about “…prac-tice…for…Games”, just like the Helmsman coached him to, and R almost thinks that’s a mistake when his Escort’s face lights up. He made her day. She almost looks like she wants to drop everything, come along as if she knows how to tie nooses any better than he does. Luckily she settles for waving him good luck, so pleased she’d radiate sunshine if she could.

He lurches off before she changes her mind.

R’s mission is a multi-stage attack:

1). Find someone, anyone with a pulse.
2). Grill them on romance.
3). Hoard the advice.
4). …He’s still working on the next step. R’s lucky he got this far, to be totally honest.

For now R roams, a tall swaying zombie with a muzzle and a bad habit bumping his way into friends and strangers and wrangling them into his quest.

Comments

Because she knows ALL about love.

[revvinguptheharley]

"Oh...it's you."

Harley remembered zombie boy from when he took a bite out of her, and to be honest she had half a mind to knock his block off.

She was in the training hall balancing on a yoga ball on one foot almost casually.

"If you're coming back for another taste tough! You may be pale enough but you're not my type Salomon Grundy."

Re: Because she knows ALL about love.

[shambler]

Yeah, it's him. Awkward. Epically awkward, even. Let's go with that.

"Won't...bite," R said, stumbling over his words watching this Tribute's balancing act. There were some stuff that even a zombie thinks looks unnatural. "Came for...ad...vice? Please," he added. Be polite and approachable.

[revvinguptheharley]

"Hmmm?" Harley looked puzzled then grinned, then laughed out loud and stood up straight clutching her sides. Losing her balance she fell bouncing off the ball and landing on her back still giggling.

"You came to ME for advice? ME!?" She sat up rubbing away a tear. "Gosh that's precious. Alright Grundy Jr. I forgive you. What can Mama help you with?"

[shambler]

That was one impressive dive, R almost convinced she must've broke something.

"Ma...ma?" R was baffled all over again. It felt like he was trying to wrestle her to the ground again and she was slipping out of his hands like a fish. The zombie struggled to play keep-up while he still had her attention. "I want...to...ask girl...out. Best...way?"

[revvinguptheharley]

The rapidly changing moods of Harley Quinn continued as she squealed with glee squishing her cheeks overwhelmed. "Ohmigosh! That IS adorable!!! You have a crush?! Tell me all about it? Does she have a pulse? Is it a she or a he? Something in between? I heard rumors about those trolls..."

[shambler]

Whoa! Big, big u-turn here, R's mouth open in a stupid gape as she suddenly starts gushing. There's so many questions fired at him at once that the zombie can only stand like a dead lump, trying to work out which one to answer first - then, Christ, then there's the grammar and picking out kiddie level words because that's all he can manage.

"Ugh, I-I....she...." R pauses in his groaning and decides to start over. "She...does. Alive. Human," he would underline that with a pen if he could. "Want to...ask her out. How?"

He'd like to moan that by the way, she needs to slow down so he can keep up, except R's already dangerously close to stalling out on his own words.

[revvinguptheharley]

She sat down on the ball gently folding her hands behind her head and rocking as he fumbled out an explanation.

"Alright Deadhead, that's pretty basic stuff. First off, what's she like?"

[shambler]

R's been called a lot of things but Deadhead is a new one. He's still working out if he doesn't like it - he thinks he's offended, he's not sure - when she asks what Julie's like. His mouth opens and then snaps shut. How can he put into words who Julie is? That she's amazing and he feels alive near her?

The zombie looks stumped at the question.

"She's...cool. Fun?" R realizes that's not helping, so he tries again. "She...likes...music. And...the...little things?"

[revvinguptheharley]

"Mmmhmm, mmmhmm." Harley nodded stroking her chin in a thoughtful yet somehow devious way.

"Well it can't hurt to start with a gift. Flowers, chocolates, toys, sparkly things. Something that shows her that you know what she likes because you care. Girls love it when you show that not only do you listen to them but you remember what they say."

[shambler]

The way Harley stroked her chin made R think she meant serious business. For some reason he suddenly pictured her with a clipboard and him on a couch and there was a lot of talking about his feelings and what the color blue meant to him on an individual level.

R wished he could write this down as fast as possible. It's good stuff! Maybe he should've brought Howard along to take notes, especially with the motor mouth on this Living girl.

"What...if I know...things about her..." R paused. He might as well admit it and spit his guilt out, get it over with. "From...her ex? Too...awk-ward?"

[revvinguptheharley]

"Oh ho! The plot thickens." Harley's ponytails seemed to perk like a cat's ears as he explained. "So all the things you know about her you learned from her exboyfriend? And you're sure you can trust him?"

"So long as you don't tell her that he's the one who told you. You want her to know these thoughts and feelings come from you not him."

[shambler]

Well, R wanted to say, not everything. But considering he just admitted to Julie he'd ate Perry, maybe relying on the dead guy's memories to coach him on Julie's likes and dislikes might be a bad idea because it was to fresh. Too soon. R stared back at Harley, nervous at the way she perked up, almost ready to start retreating back into his hunched shoulders and shrugging.

"That's...a good...point," R wheezed, sounding surprised at Harley's insight. Who knew? "Rem...member her...ex. But...I'm...not him...either."

He didn't want to go into the gory details of why this was more than a case of he-said she said, the whole brain eating and memory-stealing thing. For one, R didn't have the words to get it out in one go and two, he wanted to keep Harley focused on the important thing here: love and all that good stuff.

[revvinguptheharley]

"Right! So you'll need a gift. And a plan. Something she'll like to do. Dinner and a movie is classic but try thinking out of the box." She urged eyes blazing with excitement. "The Capitol has all kinds of experiences you can indulge in? Like a romantic boat ride, maybe a joy ride through town in a rented car..." She paused giving him a look. "Probably better let her drive. What you ought to do is ask your chaperone, you know the one who takes you to parties? They know this town better then any of us."

[shambler]

Thinking outside the box, was she kidding? Doing it on accident was one thing. Pre-meditated thinking outside the box? R's half-rotted brain shriveled just thinking about it. R leaned back as the girl pressed forward, a little surprised by her enthusiasm - who knew she'd be on fire like this, especially to the guy who tried to chew her up?

It was a little scary, actually.

"I...don't...want Esc...Escort," R shook his head, stubborn. "She'll...int....fere. What about...walks?"

Trust a zombie to think recreational shambling walking counted as a date. He needed more help from Harley Quinn than he realized.

[revvinguptheharley]

Harley looked stunned, then hung her head.

"Ho boy...you died a virgin didn't you?"

Popping back up so fast her ponytails whipped him in the face. "A walk? She can take a walk whenever she wants! I mean sure if you walk somewhere beautiful with her that's a start. But you want her to be there with you, not looking after you. You've gotta take charge and show her that you're capable. You're fun. She wants to be with you!"

[shambler]

Did he? She knew as much as he did, R shrugging helplessly. He wanted to say he probably didn't, but who even knew? It hadn't mattered back at the airport anyway. Not like the plumbing worked anymore and the old urges were dust like pretty much everything else.

"Fun..." R repeated after taking that ponytail to the face like a man. He barely flinched back even as he realized he had a few strands of the Living girl's hair stuck in his mouth. "But...not life...of party."

R fell silent, looking like he was at a loss of words. She was in danger of losing him: what did she mean, be there when...he is? Although to be fair, he got the impression he needed babysitting, what with the whole zombie, barely-looking-like-he-had-two-functioning-brain-cells.

[revvinguptheharley]

Harley's lips twitched, and then she giggled and laughed sighing "OK that was a good one. You hold onto that. Girls love a guy who can make them laugh."

Straightening up she began to pace. "Alright, I don't wanna do all the work for you but I'll help you out with the gift. What's her favorite animal?"

[shambler]

R's smile was tentative, his blackened, vein-mottled mouth twitching back from teeth he probably shouldn't go showing if his Escort was here to nag about it. "Good. I like...being funny."

Trying to tell jokes to zombies? Not very fun. Especially when both him and the other corpse forget the joke, nevermind the punchline flying over their heads. R looked dimly pleased when he got that giggle out of Harley, liking the way she laughed. It sounded so much better than when he bit into her at the Cornucopia...

His smile died away when Harley sprung that question, morphing into something looking like very, very slow panic.

"I don't...know. We just...met."

[revvinguptheharley]

"Yeesh!" Harley recoiled from his smile, "Might wanna talk to your stylist about getting a fresh set of pearly whites if you're gonna be grinning like that deadhead."

But she liked his enthusiasm so she kept it up. "Alright, if you have to guess, does she make you think of any particular animals? Kitty cats? Puppy dogs? Dolphins or ponies?"

[shambler]

R hurriedly snapped his mouth shut, teeth clicking. "Sorry."

The look the zombie shot Harley was a huge you gotta be kidding me. Was that supposed to be advice? R tried to think of anything he could picture as...Julie-esque. It was harder than he thought it'd be, his face scrunching into a frown like he needed a cheat-sheet here.

"I don't...know. Sun...shine?" Okay, so that wasn't an animal. So sue him. At least he had something that wasn't a total blank. "Sun...flowers."

[revvinguptheharley]

"Oh! Oh that's perfect I know just the thing! You stay here." She ordered and took off like a bolt to the door.

She was excited at least. But even at Harley speed it took her ten minutes to get back. She dashed back in laughing cheerfully.

[shambler]

She'd find R exactly where she left him - ten minutes was pretty much nothing to a corpse. You could barely get a good shuffle going in only ten minutes, R occupying himself by swaying there until she came back. Her laugh made R's head come up.

"Mission...accom....accomplished?" He moaned gingerly.

Look, he was a little suspicious about that laugh.

[revvinguptheharley]

"You got that right! Check this out." She produced a blush sunflower with a smiling face. It began to wiggle and dance.

"There's a shop that sells these things, they dance and bob when there's sun. Whattya think?"

[shambler]

R peered at the - uh, whoa now, something was going on. What? R started back in surprise, a slow mo flinch as the sunflower thing started shaking itself like it had hips and it knew how to use them.

"That's...amuh...amazing," R didn't even realize he was stuttering, the zombie leaning forward so he could watch the dancing sunflower. He gaped shamelessly. That was one of the coolest things he'd ever seen! "I think...she'd...like it!"

[revvinguptheharley]

"Poifect!" She cheered and threw the toy into the air producing the card with the shops address on it and trying to tuck it between R's cold dead fingers before catching the toy on it's way back down.

"You get your handler to take you there and you buy one for her. That'll get you started on your big romantic night!"