beckstitch: (So the shadows can't catch you)
Beck Scordato ([personal profile] beckstitch) wrote in [community profile] thecapitol2016-02-29 06:12 pm
Entry tags:

oh why do we run, run, run/so far from each other

Who| Beck and OPEN (to Capitolites)
What| Heartbreak
Where| Around the Capitol.
When| After the D11 liberation.
Warnings/Notes| Swearing, some discussion of neglect/depression, other warnings TBD.

At first it's just an echoing disbelief. Beck waits outside Emily's door for hours after the last of the Capitol soldiers have come back. Emily has to be with them. Has to. It doesn't matter what she said, what she was going through, she has to come back. She can't be gone.

Then, it's tears. Tears and curling up in the corner around the aching emptiness in her gut, for once not caring who sees her, not caring that she's balled up foetally in the corridor outside her ex's flat looking (and feeling) utterly pathetic. One person, one person in the world she thought wouldn't find something better and move on... one goddamn person who she thought might stay, and she's gone. Just like the rest of them. Mothers and fathers and friends and lovers and everyone who's meant to stay.

Even at her worst (and her worst has been pretty bad, at times), Beck's never felt so utterly, utterly alone. Isn't this when you're meant to be able to turn to someone? To your mother, or your father, or your siblings? And who's she got, but a couple of Avoxes who aren't even the same Avoxes who raised her, and a whole plethora of friends who were in it for the sex and the glamour and the shoulder to cry on?

After the tears comes rage, and the rage doesn't go anywhere. She runs, runs all through the city with her head down and her heart pounding, not caring who she bulls past. She keeps running until she can't run any more.

And when she's done running, she fights. For the next couple of days, every waking hour, you can find her in the gym, kickboxing, like she can somehow force all her anger and grief and betrayal out into a stupid punchbag, like it makes any goddamn difference to the people who took Emily from her (who took her father from her, took her life from her, who want to take her city from her). She snatches moments of sleep in the gym, or in her office. A couple of times, she tries to pull herself together and get some work done. It's not happening.

What's the goddamn point, anyway? Why bother working to be loved, to make a difference, if all it does is get thrown back in your face?
capitolprivilege: (would you be upset)

[personal profile] capitolprivilege 2016-03-09 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
"Whoa, whoa whoa whoa! Easy!" Stephen shifts back and laughs, but it's not unkind -- it's a laugh meant to break tension, not make fun. "What's up? Everyone but you. What're you doing snoozing in the gym in the middle of the day? What, is sleeping in the gym healthier than sleeping at home? Do you burn fat by proximity?"

He knows things aren't sunshine and roses. Stephen's well aware that Beck's going through a really, really rough time. But he's keeping the conversation light and friendly, because you don't open with the heavy shit. You distract, and if someone wants to talk, they talk.
capitolprivilege: (all the time we're spending)

[personal profile] capitolprivilege 2016-03-09 04:09 am (UTC)(link)
"You look like someone who could use a break. Or, better yet, a drink. What do you say? Want to gain back all the calories you just slept off?" he asks playfully.

Really, it's an offer for company; drink, in this context, implies a listening, sympathetic ear. Stephen's offering to spend time with her, to let her unwind with someone else watching her back, and to take care of her when she's finished.
capitolprivilege: (and who will take the credit?)

[personal profile] capitolprivilege 2016-03-10 02:43 am (UTC)(link)
A brilliant smile flashes across his face, pleased that she's accepted the invitation.

"Right behind you," he says, straightening up. "Where would you like to go? Would you prefer getting privately or publicly smashed?"
capitolprivilege: (oh they mean it)

[personal profile] capitolprivilege 2016-03-15 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
"Do I look like I'm ready to be seen in public?" Stephen shoots back, aware of his own lack of clean clothes and makeup. "Hit the showers, Beck. I'll meet you by the front desk."
capitolprivilege: (all the time we're spending)

[personal profile] capitolprivilege 2016-03-23 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
"You're on."

He'll hit the showers, put his own face on, and be waiting with his hands in his pockets, leaning easily against the desk. Stephen's sporting a Capitol version of the t-shirt and blazer look, effortlessly stylish, casually classic. No, he'll never stop overthinking his own clothing; he wouldn't know what to put on in the morning if he weren't trying. He's texting as he waits, and there's nothing impatient in his posture. If she's a little late, it won't be awkward.
capitolprivilege: (would you be upset)

[personal profile] capitolprivilege 2016-03-23 09:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Stephen turns a critical eye on her hand. "Eh, it's not so bad," he says. "Besides, in that outfit, no one's going to be looking at your nails. Not unless they have a hand fetish, anyway, in which case their opinion isn't worth worrying about." What he's saying is you look very nice, Beck.
capitolprivilege: (every single symptom brings us closer)

[personal profile] capitolprivilege 2016-03-28 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Stephen's glad he got that smile out of her. She's a girl in very serious need of some cheering up, and a smile is a good start.

He takes her arm gallantly. "Got a particular place in mind?" he asks, strolling out toward the street.
capitolprivilege: (we wine)

[personal profile] capitolprivilege 2016-03-29 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)
He bursts into a laugh. "You're asking the wrong man," Stephen says, "or, at least, the right one, but a year too late. Between my job and, you know, everything else--" the war, he means the war, but there's no need to name it when euphemism will do just fine-- "I've not felt all that up to out-on-the-town."
capitolprivilege: (oh they mean it)

[personal profile] capitolprivilege 2016-04-01 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
"I can't have forgotten everything," he says. "There's no way every club I knew wound up obsolete over the past year."

Stephen clicks his tongue in his mouth thoughtfully. "Okay, okay. If any place has staying power, it's .infinity -- they've been relevant since before the Quell. It might not be the most cutting-edge club in the Capitol, but I think we can find ourselves a good time."
capitolprivilege: (every single symptom brings us closer)

[personal profile] capitolprivilege 2016-04-07 08:57 pm (UTC)(link)
It's the work of a moment to hail a cab (Stephen's not sure why they even call it hailing, since it's done by communicator and has nothing to do with any kind of hail at all) and within a minute, they're zooming off into the early-evening light, headed for the skyscraper .infinity is atop.

"Thank god I found you," Stephen says, crossing his legs comfortably in the backseat of the car. "I needed a break, too. You wouldn't believe the headache this week has been." It's meaningless chatter, idle talk, bitching meant to fill silence.
capitolprivilege: (we wine)

[personal profile] capitolprivilege 2016-04-08 07:37 pm (UTC)(link)
"I would love to complain about it," Stephen says, "but, you know, my department is absolutely lousy with NDAs and research contracts and security restrictions. I can't sneeze without worrying I'm giving away something illegal."
capitolprivilege: (oh they mean it)

[personal profile] capitolprivilege 2016-04-19 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
"I don't know what department you think I work in," Stephen insists, "but there is absolutely nothing juicy about Capitol R&D. It's balancing the wants and needs of over a dozen scientific teams, all of which think their project is the most important discovery since force fields."