thecapitol | We'll just march to some new place and somebody else will die

Entry tags:

We'll just march to some new place and somebody else will die

Who| Nick and OTA
What| Newly arrived Nick gathers his bearings...or tries to?
Where| Bar & rooftop of the Training Center
When| 10/21, afternoon?
Warnings/Notes| Spoilers for up to Amid the Ruins (episode 4).

Bar

[Nick didn't appreciate having rules imposed on him the moment he woke up here. The barrage of so much information was beyond overwhelming but never had he felt more frustrated at still feeling as if he had no idea what the hell was going on. The sight of a bed was comforting, but he couldn't bring himself to sleep despite knowing how deprived he had been.
He made a beeline for the bar as soon as he heard that such amenities were free. He had to see it to believe it because the world didn't work like that and it never had.

A serving of fries was all it took for him to remember how fucking hungry he initially was. Two burgers and two very free whiskeys later, he finds himself ready for a third helping. Knowing the fact that his freedom was more or less traded for all this makes him order another glass. It's stupid, but he needs to forget even for just a little while. Forget this place; forget the last moment he recalled being alive before he felt that lurker's teeth sink into his neck.

He downs the whiskey in one go, letting its warmth settle into him as he stares at the empty glass.]

Rooftop

[He hasn't seen a city, let alone any form of civilization, in a while. A very small part of him takes comfort in that he doesn't have to worry about the possibility of lurkers bursting in at any minute. But the rest of him knows that his experience of his place so far goes to show how much more dangerous the living are as opposed to the dead. In a way, this isn't much different from living under Carver's control; there's food, shelter - and while there aren't any lurkers, they're still fighting for their lives. There's some form of safety but their lives are still at risk. And this time, it's for the enjoyment of others like some seasonal baseball game.

There's always a catch with these things. That thought alone makes him tick.

He pulls his sleeve back to look at the watch Pete gave him and remembers his late uncle's words.

"...nobody in this world is ever gonna give a god damn whether you like something or not."]

Ain't that the truth... [He pauses, as if expecting a response.] Especially right now. [He leans back against his chair and looks over at the city, watch still ticking.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[This is... impossible.

For six months Clementine has been alone, in so far as being the only person from their respective universe as far as she can tell. Now, suddenly in the space of two days, she's found two people she knows here. Neither of them she'd know particularly well, only having just over a days time spent with them but that didn't matter, she knew Luke and she knew Nick and now they were both here.

It's a little nerve-racking to be honest, what if this is just the start? What if there'll be more?

The thought bothers Clem a great deal but she doesn't let it stop her from approaching Nick when she finds him there on the rooftop.]

Hi Nick.

[Gray-blue eyes greet her as Nick looks up from his watch. It’s a voice among many that he never expected to hear, but there’s one of them now. From his experience, Clementine had gave him the benefit of the doubt in moments no one else did and continued to show him an understanding that he felt like he didn’t deserve, especially how he initially treated her. She forgave him but that doesn’t mean he’ll ever forget.]

Clem…? [Something feels different about her, but it’s definitely her. Too surprised to think about it, he just had to ask – knowing that he’s probably not going to like the answer:] What the hell are you doing here?

Same thing as everybody else.

[That was blunt but there's no way of putting it gently that she's found. Six months feels like such a long time now.

Words hang on the tip of her tongue about the river, about the Walkers there and Pete but she keeps them back.]

I've been here six months.

Fuck. [She's a tribute too. It's no surprise - he doesn't put anything pass the assholes who thought up this twisted sport anyway, but it still hits Nick hard enough for him to show his upset.]

Six? [He raises a brow at that. Nothing's adding up and he wonders if he should even bother trying to make sense of it anymore.] It had only been a night since - [he tells himself not to think about it, but the images of the herd at Howe's comes to mind still]...since we got separated.

We got separated, at the river?

[She doesn't remember that, sure things had been confusing and frantic with all the Walkers there but no, she and Nick had been with each other at that point.

... unless, they'd taken him from a different time. They could do that, it was like that with Luke, talking about people she didn't know.]

Yep, six. It's been a long time since I saw you guys.

[Nick's head is spinning now and he knows it's not because of the drinks he had earlier.]

There was no river back there. [His tone's creeping up with annoyance, although not at her but towards the confusion of it all.] What the hell are you even talkin' about?

I went with you and Pete... after the Walkers attacked is the last thing I remember.

[She says, softer now because it's the same as with Luke. He and Nick, they went on and lived days or weeks forwards with here and either Clem can't remember it or she hasn't lived it yet -- and that means they could send her back home, right?]

It's true, Nick. It sounds crazy but I think the Capitol did it, they can take people from anyplace and... and I think anytime as well.

[Nick frowns at the mention of Pete and the horrible memory of watching his uncle getting devoured before his eyes. He replayed that memory on many occasions as if there had been something Nick could’ve done differently.

He pushes that thought to the back of his mind – again. Clementine just said that was the last thing she remembered – something that had occurred more than a week ago for Nick.]

How the hell did they even…? [He was alone out there, at that fence…where a lurker got him. He clenches a fist and keeps at hard gaze at the ground before letting out a snort.] Guess if they could bring me back to life, they could do whatever the fuck they want. [If he wasn't dead, he was at the very least as good as dead because he was bitten. Somehow, some way, the bastards undid that to have him participate in the Games it looks like.]

I don't know, they do a lot of impossible things. They--

[Then what Nick just said catches up to Clementine and her eyes widen at the implications. He can't mean from an arena, he just got here. It must mean that...]

Nick... you... you died?

Pretty sure. I mean - [He looks away from her then, reaching the back of his neck to scratch a part that doesn’t even itch.]

I’m as good as dead. [Or thought he was? Fuck he doesn’t know. He shakes his head, giving a look that’s clearly tired of all this Panem bullshit.]

I got bitten - I know I did but these fuckers did something to stop it. [And despite knowing that, he doesn’t feel any better about it.]

Nick, I -- I'm sorry.

[The words feel inadequate the moment they leave her mouth. They're always inadequate, wherever she says them and whoever she says them to, they never feel like enough. Saying sorry felt so useless sometimes but she and everyone else kept doing it.]

They can fix a lot of stuff. They bring us back every time after the arena's.

[So one Walker-bite might not count for much with them.]

[Nick's got enough experience to know how awful it must be to have to say sorry so often, no matter whose fault it is. He has a feeling Clem has said that more often than the people who ought to. Still, he doesn't respond to that as he just doesn't know what else is there to say. It feels like the end of the line for him, but he's still here.

His focus returns when Clem's the one to speak again.]

What? What do you mean?

What? Wait... no one told you yet?

[Great. She breathes in and looks at him steadily.]

When we die in the arena's they bring us back to life after, so they can make us do it all over again. The only way out is to win, or... or if they get bored of you, then they don't bring you back.

Told me what? [He's already bracing himself as much as he can before he even finishes his question.

But even his best effort isn't enough to prepare him for an answer like that. It's so unbelievable that he even wonders if bracing himself was even necessary.]

I don't...[Clementine wouldn't lie though. She never had, but even he has to refrain himself from telling her to not joke around. On the other hand, it seems to go with the ridiculousness of this place...as if you know you're dreaming so none of the crazy shit that happens doesn't bother you. The science or whatever behind it is beyond him, but accepting it is a whole other ordeal.]

Jesus Christ. [He covers his face and lets out a muffled groan.] This really is happening.

It is. I don't know how it works, none of us Tributes do but it's the way it is.

[There's no way to approach this that makes it easier and no way better than being blunt about it. This is the truth and the sooner Nick understands it the better for.

Though she knows that really nothing can make it true until the first time it happens, the first time you feel yourself die and then wake up again in a bed like it never really happened. If the proof wasn't there on television Clementine could even convince herself her deaths had all been a bad dream.]

I've been through it before.

[That last sentence makes him up look up from his hand. The thought of being here, forced to participate in bloodsport as some form of divine punishment for all the shit he has done crossed his mind before. But Clementine's presence easily makes that notion a pile of shit. All this cruelty is just randomly selected and the thought of Clem going through it more than once angers him as much as it makes him confused.]

God damn. [He doesn't even know how to properly respond to that. His eyes are wide, mortified and sorry at the same time.] There...["There's gotta be a way outta here" he'd say but...]

There's no way out, huh? You've been here a while like you said. [And he wouldn't doubt it if she had tried.]

Only if you win, or if they decide to let you out.

[she's vaguely aware that tributes can try and petition out of the games if they can prove themselves more valuable to the Capitol outside of the arena's rather than in them but also understands that the avenue is rarely successful. Clementine hasn't pursued it herself because she had no idea what she could say to them to let her out.]

The Capitol has a lot of security, it's really advanced.

[She wouldn't be saying that if she didn't know the wind up here interfered with the microphones.]

They keep close track of us.

[He’d be surprised if that’ll ever again.] This is so messed up. All of this. [He’s aware that they’re being constantly watched but hearing it again just reminds him of how hopeless the situation is. He lets his shoulder sink as he looks at Clementine, wondering if he should tell her about what she missed.]

Listen, I – shit. [He reaches up to rub at his temple. She doesn’t even know about Kenny and he can easily recall how quick she was to hug that old man. Kenny’s temper and rashness is worse than his own, but Nick can see how he and Clementine were close.]

You really don’t remember what happened? After the river? [His eyes narrow at the ground as he looks back on the past he wants to leave behind.]…the bridge? [He heard her earlier and he believes her, but he just needs to ask again. At the very least, he can let her know that she got to meet an old friend again.]

Yeah. [Clementine couldn't argue that even if she wanted to.

Now she's pursing her lips as Nick asks that, forced to shake her head.]

Sorry, Nick, I really don't. Is... did something else bad happen? To us? ... to you?

[Is that where Nick died? Right after Pete? Horror coils in her stomach at the prospect. They'd been far enough from the house that getting back, especially without leading a whole bunch of Walkers after them, would have been difficult.

But no, she realises he's mentioned one detail she doesn't remember.]

What bridge?

[The more Clementine asked, the more Nick's stomach churns with regret at bringing up the topic at all.

The time between the river and the distillery comes at him like a fuzzy haze.]

We were fine. Found a place to hide out for a while I told you...before you convinced me to leave with you. [They both saved each others lives that time, although Nick hardly felt like he deserved it. He goes on mentioning getting separated - and a vague memory of slugging a lurker or two in the face - before reuniting with the rest of the group. He doesn't mention thanking her or even how grateful he is that it's thanks to her that he's still wearing the watch on his wrist right now. It just seems to make more sense in his head right now that she should hate him instead.]

The bridge was something else. Something that happened a little later. [He shut his eyes tight at the memory. He had been on edge since Pete, but Luke and the others had been on his ass the entire week and treated him as if he was incapable of making any decisions. He was upset at too many things at once and that drove his need to prove himself even more, only to have his efforts solidify everyone's opinions on him being the total fuck up that they pegged him to be.]

...I made a mistake. [One that continues to eat at him even now and talking about it now just makes the guilt feel even more raw.] Like that's a big fucking surprise.

[She almost regrets asking. Nick's words are too vague for her to make much sense of and the way he says them, particularly that last part, makes her worry for trying to press any further.

Then again, does she really want to know the future? Luke had been evasive about it as well and that wasn't something that inspired confidence. Should she really be surprised though? Bad things always happened eventually, even when you thought you were safe.]

Hey. Don't... it's okay. Whatever it was, you're here now, not there.

[Nick already regrets bringing it up. Clementine has the right to know about him. Back there, they were always on the move and time was limited. Everything had to be done faster than Nick can take, like his apology to her and to Walter. Here she can know and have the time make an informed decision about him. Here maybe Nick will get the judgement he deserves.]

It ain't okay. Not to me. [His response isn't even towards what she's referring to but he says it anyway. If Luke hadn't said a word to her then Nick now understands why.] But...you're right. [He feels like he's lying despite never telling one, but he's not ready to tell her what happened when he hasn't even forgiven himself.]

I owe you a lot. We'll leave it at that for now. [He manages a small smile at that at least. He still wants to tell her about Kenny. He hasn't seen him since they went through that horde, but after seeing what that stubborn old man went through, Nick's certain he's still kicking.

There's no harm in letting someone know that their friend's still alive, right?]

On the bright side, we ran into a friend of yours. [Coming from a world like theirs where it's easier to believe distant friends and relatives are long dead, it was refreshing to see what seemed to be an unlikely reunion.] Old cranky bastard. Called me "Vanilla Ice" too.

[He owed her? What could she have done to make Nick say that?

There's so many questions she wants to ask but doesn't quite dare to, not yet. She listens and tries to accept that for now she needs to remain ignorant, giving Nick a nod to show she understood that.]

A friend of mine? ... Christa?

[But then no, 'cranky old bastard' didn't exactly fit her only surviving friend which confused Clementine all the more.]

Who are you talking about?

[Nick almost lets out a short laugh at that but purses his lips instead. Her question reminded him how much everyone else has lost so far. There are some things he just isn’t ready to say. He isn’t even sure if Kenny’s still alive last time he saw him and he can’t say anything about Christa at all, but Clem could use the good news of knowing that she met the former again.]

No, sorry. [He really is.] Unless that was somethin’ else I didn’t know about him. [He looks to the side for a moment, wondering what Luke would think about this but returns his gaze to her once he decides to go for it anyway. Clem deserves to know.]

I’m talkin’ about Kenny.

... Kenny?

[Disbelief and astonishment fight it out on Clementine's face, leaving her gaping at the news.]

I... it can't... I thought he was dead! Does he have a hat? And a mustache?

[She's not calling Nick a liar but it's so shocking to hear that Kenny had survived that Clementine's mind is taking a little while to wrap itself around the fact.]

(no subject)

fuckitall - 2014-12-11 02:20 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

smarterthanthem - 2014-12-13 21:47 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only