[OPEN] We've opened our eyes

[furgood]

Who| Meulin Leijon & Terezi; Meulin and you!
What| Meulin hangs around the commons and then takes Terezi on an ill fated late lunch
Where| Tribute Towers Commons; out on the town
When| Backdated to the Sunday after the medieval ball
Warnings/Notes| None so far

A. Open
Meulin bounces on the balls of her feet, looking around at the magazines spread here and there. She's early for her outing and that makes her a tiny bit nervous. Various tributes and staff might not have been as appreciative of her work as they could be and well--she'd be happy when they were out of the tower.

If her picture hadn't been in there, maybe she wouldn't be so nervous. It was too late either way. There was no time to send a message to meet somewhere else and she was already here. She picked up Celebrus and flipped to an open page.

"Oh yes, tell me what outlandish new styles should be my own, Celebrus. Inquiring minds want to know." She mumbled, louder than she means, and pulls out a pen to take the ridiculous quiz.

B. Closed to Terezi

When she spies the young troll, Meulin pushes off from the wall she'd been propped against, leaves the magazine on a nearby table and starts moving to meet her. A purse is slung over her shoulder and she pauses for a moment to pull out her pen and paper. Her smile is still a little hesitant at the corners, not quite as light as it might have once been.

"I hope you're hungry, I have a reservation made for that weird fish place I told you about. The one where you catch the fish and they cook them. And there's a great place in the District 11 section of the shopping center that does fruit smoothies, ice cream and all that. I asked around for suggestions."

She looks so proud of the research she put into this, be proud of her Terezi. She might be a little awkward around Terezi but there was no excuse not to do things right.

Comments

[pythianjudgment]

For what it's worth, Terezi tries to follow Meulin's advice. She concentrates on her breathing and tries to ignore the craving for more air. Slow and deep. Not drowning. Not suffocating. Just breathing slow and deep. She tries to let the breath come on its own, forcing herself not to hurriedly suck in air.

When Meulin returns, Terezi seems a bit better--still shaky, but not as panicked. She feels on the verge of starting up again, but the precise motions of breathing in and out are enough to keep her from hyperventilating.

She lifts her head a little, holding her hands out for one of the promised drinks.

[furgood]

A cold fruit juice is pressed into her hands. It claims to contain all sorts of enriching vitamins but Meulin was skeptical. She holds the bag up to peer inside as she waits for Terezi to take a sip.

"I got plain water and something fizzy if you'd rather have that. But you said you liked fruit."

Terezi is less shaky but Meulin still kneels in front of her and sorts through the bag. It was more or less what she just grabbed from the shelves and she pulls out a stick of jerky with a strange look.

"I'm not sure why I grabbed this. I got some crackers...and an orange."

She was feeling more silly by the moment. Crackers, jerky and an orange. Hardly the thing she'd want during an attack.

[pythianjudgment]

Despite her panic, Terezi has to laugh a little at the jerky and the other things. It's a nervous quiet little thing that sounds a small part hysterical, but it's still progress made. She holds onto the fruit juice for a few seconds, just feeling the coolness in her hands; then the cap comes off and she tries a few careful sips. She can feel the cold down through her throat and chest, and it clears her head a little.

In and out, in and out, she breathes.

"Thank you" are her first words, when she finally finds her voice again. It takes her a few seconds to remember that Meulin can't hear them. She grimaces at the slip, but doesn't reach for the whiteboard yet. A few more breaths, a few more sips... Then she manages to shakily draw the whiteboard back out of her purse.

Her writing is a mess, but somewhat legible.

TH4NK YOU SORRY

[furgood]

Meulin watches her quietly, fingers curling and uncurling in the bag in a nervous gesture. One she forgets would make some sort of noise, that it's something Terezi might notice. When Terezi speaks, Meulin understands. The words can only be a few things 'I'm okay' 'thank you' 'im sorry'. Some short and to the point. She nods but Terezi spells it out as well.

Picking up Terezi's pen, she carefully writes back a reply beneath it.

It's alright really. I've been through this.

Take as much time as you need. We'll grab something at a little place. Was it the water? I didn't realize it would be like that honestly :( I'm sorry.

[pythianjudgment]

Terezi nods at the both the question and the plan to get something at a different place. There's no distinction between them, though. She takes a few more sips of the juice. It feels nice in her hands. Cold and grounding.

1T W4S TH3 W4T3R

She starts writing a few more things: "I didn't", "I wasn't", "It's o"... But each time, she rubs out the letters again. Her handwriting is a mess, even more than it normally is. She finally manages to start something, but it's only small fragments of an explanation.

F1RST M1N1 4R3N4
D1STR1CT SC4V3NG3R HUNT
SW1MM1NG 1N S3CT1ON FOUR
SOM3TH1NG GR4BB3D MY L3G
DROWN3D
COULDNT

COULDNT SM3LL
COULDNT H34R
JUST D4RKN3SS 4ND S1L3NC3
4ND W4T3R PR3SS1NG 1N

[furgood]

The idea of drowning is so vague a concept. She knows it happens, that it happens to a lot of people, but she's been in water all her life. It's like a comforting friend, something to hold her and keep her and when she tumbled over herself in the waves, it was a reminder to be careful, not a danger. Yet, she can imagine the horror, spelled out so succinctly. A shark perhaps, pulling a surfer off their board or a muttation dragging down a tribute in their prime, back in the old games. She remembers something like that. Many things like that. There's a sudden shudder at the idea of water in the arena.

There would be no comfort to it there.

I'm sorry. I can't fully imagine what it must have been like.
I've never been through that.
But I understand how you must feel now.
Do you need anything else?

[pythianjudgment]

Terezi is already surprised by the kindness that Meulin had shown her. She doesn't know many people in the Capitol who would help her like this. She's already done enough just sitting with her like this and buying her drinks to calm her down. She wouldn't mind staying like this for a little while.

C4N YOU ST4Y W1TH M3?
1 DONT N33D 4NYTH1NG 3LS3

That's all she really wants right now. To have someone nearby that is comforting to talk to. Someone who can ease her fears with the sound of their voice. Meulin isn't quite the one that she wants right now, but she's very close. She can still help.

Terezi sips at her juice some more, until the liquid is more than half gone. She takes the whiteboard and writes something else:

1 KNOW HOW TO SW1M
TH3 1N1T14T3 T4UGHT M3
1 W4S TRY1NG TO F4K3 1T
4ND TH3N 1T H4PP3N3D FOR R34L

[furgood]

Staying there is something she can do. Kneeling on the ground like this just makes her even shorter, but she sits back on her heels and waits quietly. It's odd, knowing Terezi has these sort of things happen to her too. Even a peacekeeper has things that can bring on panic. The whole situation makes her more uncertain, more unsure. She wants to stroke her hair or her hand like she might for Taria but she hardly knows Terezi. It would be weird.

Better to keep a distance anyways. Better not to get too attached to the peacekeeping troll.

Yet, her interest is piqued when she writes about Initiate. Perhaps is the shipper in her or the memory of hearing about him through those at home, in what was most likely an exaggerated version of events. She takes up the pen curiously to write back.

Fake swimming or drowning?
I guess I don't understand why you'd try to fake either?

[pythianjudgment]

F4K3 DROWN1NG

It occurs to her that maybe she should stop. This wasn't something that she was supposed to be vocal about. She was supposed to be a good Peacekeeper and a good Tribute. She was supposed to keep her mouth shut and nod her head and say all the right words... But her head still feels light from the panic, and she just wants to curl up somewhere and be comforted. She misses her moirail.

TH3Y S41D
1F W3 D1DNT W1N OR D13
1N TH3 4LLOT3D T1M3
TH3Y WOULD K1LL US
4ND NOT BR1NG US B4CK

[furgood]

Oh. She's confused for a moment, why would she kill herself if they had to win--

Or die. She faked drowning to die so she'd be brought back. So it was her doing it and she could make sure. Meulin sits flat on the ground and the breath escapes her at that daring. She's not sure she could do it. Then again, she wouldn't have the chance. An arena was a one way trip for her. One way and no way out except dead. She didn't have to contemplate dying for the sake of living.

That was very brave
But probably not the best if you can't stand the sight of water now
Maybe you just need better memories for it
A friend of mine went into an arena with things in the water that tried to kill him but he still swims I think.
Maybe one day it won't scare you anymore

[pythianjudgment]

Better memories... Terezi isn't so sure about that. Anyone that might have been able to give her better memories was lost to her--dead and gone, or out of reach in other ways. She had tried to acclimate herself again, at first. She had to. The first time she tried to use the shower, the feeling of rushing water over her head had sparked a panic so intense that she nearly fell trying to scramble out of the bathroom. It had been weeks before she could talk herself through it. Weeks of washing herself in the sink and hating how weak she felt.

These days she could manage the normal everyday amount of water, but sometimes if she wasn't careful or wasn't prepared... It still felt so overwhelming. She still hates it just as much.

M4YB3

She wants that day to be now.

[furgood]

There's things she's not being told, she can tell that much. She watches Terezi and her expression and there's so much not being said, so much hidden under the surface. It reminds her, of herself, of slinking past Peacekeepers, avoiding entire areas of town, hiding in the room she shared with her sister and almost running from the reaping that year. Of how she still froze against the wall in the Medieval Ball when everyone ran around, how she had clung to Kurloz's hand in the elevator, wanting to explain how it still scared her sometimes, how it wasn't something she could help, but it came out wrong.

Meulin reached up and grasped her hands in her own. If she didn't think of this girl as a Peacekeeper, it was easier. If she just let herself see the things that are similar, it slips into familiarity, into a friend helping a friend. Just don't think.

"I know. Some things scare me still and I don't think I'll ever get better memories of that particular thing. And even when I think I'm past it, sometimes it sneaks up on me. But it'll get better, I purromise. It will."

[pythianjudgment]

The grasp of her hands in Meulin's causes Terezi to lift her head just a bit. Just enough that it might seem like she's looking at the connection between the two of them. There's a stirring of feeling there, and she feels guilty for that. She's so kind and warm and oblivious to the things that she's doing by being so supportive. The urge to fold herself into her arms and shut out the world is strong, but Terezi manages to resist.

But she doesn't pull her hands away, not even to write another message. She only nods her head, trying to put her gratitude into her expression where Meulin might see it.

[furgood]

Years of reading expressions helps. The fact that her hands stay right where they are helps too. Her words and gestures aren't unwelcome, aren't pushed away. So Meulin stays like that, crouching on the ground and looking up at the girl, hands clasped. A smile so faint it might not be there turns up the corners of her lips. She really hadn't expected this side of Terezi. Terezi had always seemed so...confident, in her space and unafraid. It's different, to see her scared. Not bad, not humbling, just...different. Like she's a normal sort of person.

"Do you want to go find something else to eat? Or just stay here a while?"

[pythianjudgment]

More than anything, Terezi is grateful for Meulin's presence, whether she's doing so out of a pale inclination or not. She's calming in her own right, and that's helping more than anything else could.

Meulin asks her a question, and Terezi touches her stomach and nods, trying to get across the idea that she would like to go somewhere else for food. Everything still feels a little shaky and there's an exhaustion creeping into her mind, but the feeling of being hungry is starting to return ever so slowly. Even if she gets something small, it would be better for staying on her feet than nothing at all.

[furgood]

Food it is. Carefully, Meulin stands. Her knees collected dust from the sidewalk and she reaches down to dust them off. It gives her time to think about where to take her. Somewhere small or some place where they're just a face in the crowd. The act of disappearing in plain sight might not work for Terezi.

"I know a place that does burgers in the shopping center. For my meat eater. Or, really, there's plenty of places there. We can have our pick. I was going to go there anyways, for the fruit smoothies."

She holds out her hand to help Terezi up. Soft and soothing, it's what she'd want.

[pythianjudgment]

Meat sounds pretty good, but so does fruit smoothies. She attempts a small smile at either. Wherever Meulin wants to go, she's okay with that. It eases her guilt a little for ruining their nice lunch date. She nods to the suggestions. The shopping center sounds perfect...and if they can stay away from any large fountains for a little while, that would be great, too.

She's just about to try standing when Meulin offers a hand to help her up. Terezi sniffs at it for a moment, then reaches to take the hand, holding it as tightly as she can manage.