Eddie Dean (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wiredup) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thecapitol2014-06-27 10:07 pm
wiredup) wrote in thecapitol2014-06-27 10:07 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Who| Eddie and Open
What| Eddie during the last week
Where| Various, see prompt.
When| Ditto.
Warnings/Notes| Drug use, serious angst. Let me know if none of these work for you and you want an in.
Obligatory party prompt|
He didn't want to be here, and it was obvious.
Even still, generally Eddie was pretty good with faking it. He knew the score. But today, he couldn't muster the charming grin.
The party was obviously effected. Between people who were sick, and people who didn't want to become sick, the turn out wasn't the normal hopping bunch. Still, by no means was the party dead. He suspected that most the people he saw who had any common sense weren't here by choice.
That wasn't all that was on his mind though. He hadn't hard from Henry. Business or personal...the latter wouldn't worry him, but the former?
He had a bad feeling about it.
So he was brooding, but couldn't exactly be a wall flower. That wasn't in the schedule. So he was seeking out, if nothing else, like minded people to linger around. People he didn't have to be on for. He roved the party, drink in hand, seeking out other tributes, mentors, anyone who hadn't ever in their life bet money on which 13 year old would live the night.
Bad Eddie doing bad things|
Logical Eddie knew that being here wasn't the best idea. This place was full of sick people, and it was too easy to get caught doing what he was doing.
And lately, he had been much more worried about that than before. He had, on some level, been aiming to stop.
But logical Eddie was out the window. He had run out of morphling in the place he'd been saying. He couldn't reach Henry, he couldn't get a hold of his contacts, and he needed the peace. Right now, zen was in short supply, and he knew he could find some in a bottle.
So here he was, in his District suite, risking the various illnesses floating around, so he could get that little bit of zen. What he had here was injected, which was far from Eddie'd favorite method but, well...beggars couldn't be choosers. He sat on the bed, arm tied off, not having noticed his door hung ajar, prepping the morphling for injection.
Well fuck|
He was numb.
This wasn't something he could process.
One death, maybe he had a chance. Death wasn't anything new.
But everyone? Everyone he'd grown up with, everyone he'd interacted with at home. Every place he'd been, everything he'd seen, everything he'd known.
Gone.
He sat on the edge of the road he'd been wandering home from, staring straight ahead, his communicator sitting between his feet where he'd dropped it. With no sun to gauge time, he had no idea how long he'd been sitting there since hearing the broadcast.
Gone.
Everything was gone.
What| Eddie during the last week
Where| Various, see prompt.
When| Ditto.
Warnings/Notes| Drug use, serious angst. Let me know if none of these work for you and you want an in.
Obligatory party prompt|
He didn't want to be here, and it was obvious.
Even still, generally Eddie was pretty good with faking it. He knew the score. But today, he couldn't muster the charming grin.
The party was obviously effected. Between people who were sick, and people who didn't want to become sick, the turn out wasn't the normal hopping bunch. Still, by no means was the party dead. He suspected that most the people he saw who had any common sense weren't here by choice.
That wasn't all that was on his mind though. He hadn't hard from Henry. Business or personal...the latter wouldn't worry him, but the former?
He had a bad feeling about it.
So he was brooding, but couldn't exactly be a wall flower. That wasn't in the schedule. So he was seeking out, if nothing else, like minded people to linger around. People he didn't have to be on for. He roved the party, drink in hand, seeking out other tributes, mentors, anyone who hadn't ever in their life bet money on which 13 year old would live the night.
Bad Eddie doing bad things|
Logical Eddie knew that being here wasn't the best idea. This place was full of sick people, and it was too easy to get caught doing what he was doing.
And lately, he had been much more worried about that than before. He had, on some level, been aiming to stop.
But logical Eddie was out the window. He had run out of morphling in the place he'd been saying. He couldn't reach Henry, he couldn't get a hold of his contacts, and he needed the peace. Right now, zen was in short supply, and he knew he could find some in a bottle.
So here he was, in his District suite, risking the various illnesses floating around, so he could get that little bit of zen. What he had here was injected, which was far from Eddie'd favorite method but, well...beggars couldn't be choosers. He sat on the bed, arm tied off, not having noticed his door hung ajar, prepping the morphling for injection.
Well fuck|
He was numb.
This wasn't something he could process.
One death, maybe he had a chance. Death wasn't anything new.
But everyone? Everyone he'd grown up with, everyone he'd interacted with at home. Every place he'd been, everything he'd seen, everything he'd known.
Gone.
He sat on the edge of the road he'd been wandering home from, staring straight ahead, his communicator sitting between his feet where he'd dropped it. With no sun to gauge time, he had no idea how long he'd been sitting there since hearing the broadcast.
Gone.
Everything was gone.
no subject
It's not until he's already on his way back that he notices the door ajar that's normally closed. He walks past, glancing aside mechanically with little thought of anything but crawling back into bed and shutting out the world, but the sight that greets him instead stops Albert still.
"So this is why you're such an absentee mentor?" He can't keep the derision out of his voice, nor a little of the fear. It's an old one, from repeated surgeries in the 60's when the only drugs they had were opiates and he'd spent nights in sweats and shivers, wishing over again he could die all because there was no real alternative yet to morphine.
no subject
Finally he snorts, setting down the bottle he was carefully opening, making sure to tighten the cap again.
"No, I'm an absentee mentor because I haven't been able to go home since I was a kid, because I've been training kids to die and not I'm suppose to train kidnapped stranger to die over and over, and oh yeah, be a capitol play thing in my free time." He looked up through the dark, shrugging. "It can drive a man to drink, what can I say."
It was a pity party, and he knew it, and it just made him angrier. At himself, not at Albert, but he wouldn't blame the guy for not knowing differently. It was pathetic. This whole mess was.
It also way more than he should be saying, but he can't help it.
I am so sorry for him, lmao
But it's none of those times. It's now, with Albert's head still swimming with guilt over the blood on his hands and the internal war against his own darkness where he wishes he could just sink into it but he tries because he has people who would see him try. Seeing Eddie's solution just makes him angry.
"Then you're weak." He growls, pupilless eyes flashing in the dim light as he tilts his chin up. "Funny, considering how proud of having you your wife seems. She immediately spoke of you when we met, calling your hers. Does she know?"
It's so low to bring Susannah into it especially when they'd met once. All she'd done was mistake his polite greeting for flirting and say that she was taken with Eddie, but Albert's angry enough to lash out without thinking through a combination of dark mood and jealousy of a solution that he can't and won't partake in. He knows drugs dull the pain, make it easier, but it's only so long as you're on them. If he started now, he knows he may never stop.
He needs it. I'm sorry he's being a drama queen.
Fighting and, clearly, failing.
"Oh, I'm sorry, should I have been stronger while my little sister died of hunger, or one of my best friends got killed on national TV and I had to watch and hear about what a 'disappointment' it was, or when I got to watch every moment of my own games over and over, or when I got to send a bunch of kids to their own deaths...real ones, you know. Not shit where they came back the next day. Nah, I got to take their little bodies home to mom and dad in a box. If there was anything left."
Albert had clearly hit a button, Eddie dropping the bottle on his bed and stalking towards the other man as he spoke. Finally he stopped himself, taking in a ragged breath.
If he didn't stop now, he didn't know if he would.
uh-oh, looks like a manpain competition up in here
"I've died, been tortured, experimented on, had everyone I've ever loved die either in my arms or in front of my eyes, had my humanity stripped from me, watched the entire world grow sick and insane and that's all before your fascist government deigned it entertaining to draw me here."
He draws himself up to his full 5'10", a veritable wall of ice.
"Your pain does not impress me."
Start your engines.
Nobody belongs here, but that doesn't stop Eddie from being an asshole about it, now does it. Carefully he sets down his needle, and pushes himself up from the bed. Clearly this wasn't going to just...not be a conversation.
"So I deal. And so can you."
vroom vroom
It makes him angry just to think of the comparison. "Without being a non-present addict. I may not be a victor, but at least I've been trying to support the tributes in these suites."
Hypocrite.